My Journey

I use writing as therapy. The page listens, it doesn’t judge, it has a perfect memory, but can be easily discarded. It doesn’t get offended, and it is basically free.

The more I write, the better I feel. Life starts to make sense and my functionality improves.

I started with the book, ‘Under the Influence, Reclaiming my Childhood’. This is an autobiographical retelling of the most traumatic and confusing moments of my past - at least what I remembered at the time of creation.

Back then, I didn’t think I would make a career out of my writing. I wrote for myself. The process was two years of pain and transition, during which I simultaneously changed careers, started businesses, and became a father.

Acceptance and belief can do wonders to a fragile mind, because the few friends I showed the book to, all suggested that the world needed to see it. That there would be thousands of others who have or are similarly suffering.

I listened, shared it wider, and kept getting the same feedback. Eventually I learnt how to self-publish, record and edit audio books and get it out there. It isn’t my best-selling work - how could trauma, pain, and introspection from a relatively unknown person become widely read? Nonetheless I regularly get people messaging me with some kind of variation of ‘you are voicing thoughts that I could never articulate’.

The whole process taught me that people need to have their inner worlds validated and that writing can heal - both the author and the reader.

I played with some fiction and poetry, but the next major project, and to date far and away my most popular work, is How To Get Your Sh!t Together. This is my 100k word answer to the plethora of self-help books, podcasts, therapists and courses I have taken and was left feeling wanting.

I wanted to write the book that I wish existed when I needed it most.

Most are either thinly veiled sales pitches for expensive courses, or just pieces of self-aggrandisement of a ‘famous’ person who is only famous for being happy - useless.

Don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of useful information out there, but the problem becomes sifting through it all and extracting what works. This is both time consuming and expensive. A problem that I know of first-hand that could block those people who are desperately in need.

I moved out of home at 16, surviving off charity, part time work, and government handouts to get through school. I had no spare income or time to get myself out of the mental, physical, and financial rut I was in. It took everything I could do to survive.

This is why I now release most of my work for free - or as close to as the hosting platform allows. Over time, most of my books will be made available chapter by chapter online for those who cannot afford to purchase. Is this a smart financial decision? Likely not. But it is the right decision. It means that people who need the support, advice and guidance can get it.

The other issue I addressed with How To Get Your Sh!t Together is the limited nature of most self-help books. They either focus only on surviving mental/psychological trauma, on organising your life, or on following your dreams.

In my opinion, all three of these are needed simultaneously. What’s the point of finding meaning if you can’t get out of bed due to anxiety, depression, or trauma? If you struggle to organise yourself, how can you establish habits needed to survive, let alone thrive? If you are following your dreams, but changing life circumstances, health issues, or bad luck cause your mental health to decline, you may be in trouble if you do not have the tools necessary to overcome these new challenges.

I also found that most self-help books weren’t clear as to the overarching principles; concepts that could be applied to things not spelled out within the book, that if done, would have a positive outcome. I highlight the principles right at the beginning, suggesting that the rest of the book is basically an explanation of how to implement those principles.

It is not a perfect book, but I’m still very proud of it. Although I market it as ‘the last self-help book you will ever need’ - I am planning on writing a sequel called ‘How To Keep Your Sh!t Together’, which will go into depth on what I’ve learnt since, as well as talk about how to move into the online entrepreneurial space, and how and why to embrace your inner artist.

The Reality Check Podcast came next. This was, and still is quite experimental. What I love in podcasts, is different from the mainstream. I like finding someone I respect and listening to their thoughts. Whilst the interview format can be interesting, if I don’t like the guest I don’t listen. I prefer to find mentors and delve deep into their psyche.

I realised I was basically attempting to find a father figure, or mini father figures to teach me what I didn’t get growing up. To this end, I have listened to countless hours of Jocko Willink for discipline, accountability, and drive. Sam Harris for introspection, meditation, and clarity. Joe Rogan for motivation, abstract thought, and communication skills. Dan Carlin for wisdom, alternative opinions, and contemplation of the human condition.

I don’t know if people are using The Reality Check Podcast in the same way as I use the above podcasts. But nonetheless it is a space for me to explore and express the reality of what’s going on in my life. I talk about psychology, philosophy, politics, and art. I try to be as real as possible, sharing my vulnerable truth, when I need to share it. I often get feedback saying that people really appreciate it and needed to hear it, in the same way that they connect with my poetry and longer from writing.

I mentioned earlier that I changed careers. University trained me to be a high school teacher and worked as one for 10 years. But it was unsustainable. Whilst I love the work and enjoyed the actual teaching component, the workload and environment was just too much for me. For whatever reason I struggled to work full time, but I still love teaching.

This is why I went into the online teaching space of Skillshare, and Insight Timer. Here I teach a variety of topics, including creative writing and poetry, meditation, self-help, study skills, and lucid dreaming. My students appreciate my quick and succinct lessons. My editing isn’t flash, but the information is delivered by a qualified teacher, who has synthesised the lessons learnt in his years of real-world classroom experience and converted them into the online space. The reviews show that it’s working, most of my courses, talks, meditations, and classes have a 4.5/5 rating or higher.

Eventually I moved away from classroom teaching, into disability support work and martial arts coaching, working out of the house 3 to 4 days a week and spending the other days on my online career.

This process has taught me a couple of things. Firstly, that work and life must balance. That for whatever reason full-time work isn’t for me, at least not in the same place doing the same thing. And that I can find meaningful work from multiple areas at once. I wrote The Wage Slave Anthology to express the potential trap of the rat race, sardonically voicing my opinions through a series of interconnected short stories – this book has been received extremely well, I think because everyone can relate to problems with late-stage capitalism.

I also discovered that I have an entrepreneurial streak. I enjoy the process of putting myself out there, of creating content that over time will grow a following, and thus earn an income. If I can do work that is both meaningful and important, that people appreciate, what more is there to ask for?

If I can survive off my art, I feel like I would be living the dream.

Poetry is a major focus of mine at the moment. I started with the collection ‘Words on a Page’, but quickly wrote ‘Reflections of the Self, the Poetry, Insights, and Wisdom of Silence’ part poetry part essay, followed by two more collections, ‘Bound to the Wings of a Butterfly’ and ‘A Requiem for What Could Have Been’, as well as the 6500+ word epic poem ‘Can’t Quite Express’.

Given the tumult of my childhood, combined with lacklustre teaching experiences, my focus growing up was strictly left brain. Science and in particular math just made sense. There was a right and wrong answer, and if I tried hard enough I would get it. This provided me with stability in an otherwise unstable world. Poetry and prose were confusing, and what little I was exposed to was completely unrelatable to my lived experience. Beyond that, I simply didn’t have the energy or mental space necessary to appreciate it.

How could I create art when I was barely surviving?  What use is a poem, when I am not sure where my next meal will come from?

Years later, my wife and editor shared some of her early poems. I was blown away. Her words spoke to me in a way I’d never felt before. The emotions felt real. The lines had a tempo and life of their own. They were evocative. She then shared some of the greats and through her instruction the world of poetry opened to me.

Curious, I put pen to paper and wrote, and in doing so, found some of my trauma to be healed. I was hooked and still am.

I am self-taught and whilst I see value in tradition and form, I see more value in self-expression. Getting the emotionality onto the page is the important part, not the strict adherence to arbitrary rules that is so often drilled into school kids about the ‘right and wrong’ way to make art.

I hope that by sharing my poetry, I can both give people a real look into the nature of mental health, trauma and recovery, but also the process of healing and growth – perhaps I can also show them that poetry is both accessible to them, as well as a potential therapeutic tool.

Beyond that, my poetry is creating a community, it is helping me to connect with people who feel similarly to how I feel. We develop friendship. We feel less alone. We learn that our suffering isn’t as insurmountable as it may initially seem. It’s beautiful.

The other major area that I am currently working in is the kinky/BDSM space.

I believe that sexual health is directly related to mental health. How can it not be? If you are unfulfilled, if you are hiding an aspect of yourself, if you are ashamed, or if there is stigma around something that you are into, chances are that your mental health will be impacted.

I am blessed to be okay sharing my darkness, my demons, and my honest truths. It feels like it is my mission in life to normalise the realities of mental illness, trauma, neglect, and recovery. So, it wasn’t much of a stretch to apply this same approach to all aspects of life.

I first entered the kinky space with the book Kink: Volume 1 – a collection of BSDM and kinky inspired short fiction and poetry. I drew from my own experiences and emotions, as well as from people who I interviewed online through my @kink_sex _postitive Instagram account. The response to this has been astronomical. Nothing I’ve done before has ever taken off so quickly. Part of me loves this, but the other part wants me to inform you that I’m much more than just the ‘sex wizard’ - A reference to my beard and profile.

This success has since spun off into The Kinky Conversations Podcast – long form talks with guests from all over the world, with vastly different experiences, goals and yes, turn-ons. Each talk convinces me more and more that there is an absolute need for open and honest discussions around sex and sexual health. That stigma and shame are real. And that people are finding healing from trauma by reclaiming their bodies through kinky sex. If you have enthusiastic informed consent, I am all for you exploring it to the fullest – it will be both fun and insightful!

I am also moving into the coaching and mentoring space. This is a response to the countless comments, emails, and direct messages I am receiving daily across all my social media and other platforms requesting support, advice, guidance, and mentoring.

Topics range from questions about meditation, to habit building, to self-help, to relationship building, to work life balance, to confidence building, to kink and BDSM, to writing theory, to online entrepreneurship, to website creation and more.

Where possible I share links to content that I have already created, or to trusted external resources, to help then and there. But more and more people are wanting me. This is both flattering and overwhelming. I am flattered because they see such value in what I have to say that they are willing to spend their time and money to hear more of it. It is overwhelming because I only have limited time to spare – this I why I price my coaching and mentoring at a premium, and share everything else I do for free, or as close to as possible.

I want to help as many people as possible, and as such, if my clients ask me a question, chances are that I will at some stage create a blog, poem, podcast, course, or book that answers it.

That said, I love the one-on-one process. If I can help people to first survive and then thrive, then that is a workday well spent.

Helping people achieve their goals, is to me, one of the highest callings in life.

The final aspect of my journey is to extend outwards and connect with other creators and events. I am still impacted by the narratives of my past. The desire to work alone is real, but unfortunately it is both unsustainable and undesirable. The number of opportunities for connection, friendship, and growth I have passed on due to fear is staggering.

It is for this reason that I am challenging myself to get out there as much as possible. So if you have a podcast, speaking engagement, YouTube channel or other project that you think I would be a good fit for, please reach out.

Together we can make a difference.

My Vision & Mission

This may sound bold, or outrageous, but I don’t care. My mission is to end suicide. An impossibility I know. So let’s scale it back a little bit. I want to stop one person ending their life.

I want to help people help themselves, and in turn, help others. Suicide is one of the leading causes of death, I have lost family and friends to suicide and at times I have been suicidal myself.

The causes vary, but often it occurs due to mental health issues, trauma, and a lack of connection. Feelings of hopelessness. Feelings of being alone. Feelings of being trapped. Feelings people don’t know how to process.

Heavy words I know. But this is my passion. It is something that I will advocate for, donate to, and push for. I am not a politician, nor a community leader. I don’t know what should be done on a national or global level. I am not sure of how to change policy for the better, but I do know what should be done on a personal level.

Reach out. Ask if something is up. Let those around you know that you’re a safe person to talk to. Share your own struggles, so they know that they can share theirs.

And if you are struggling, reach out. Ask for help and try everything first, before you do something you can’t take back.

My Values & Goals

I value open honest caring communication.

With this website, my various projects, and my social media presence, I aim to show the reality of mental illness and recovery. What real life and real struggles actually look like. I want to share with you my raw, honest, and vulnerable truth. I want to share my progress and my wins. I want to express my inner world, as it is for what it is. And hopefully by doing so, I will show you that you are not alone.

I want to show the progress of creating an online career. The realities of an artist-entrepreneur. The journey in real time from unknown into success.

I want to be the mentor and guide that I never had growing up.

I want to show the world that it’s possible to pull yourself up, survive and then thrive.

Contact & Social

If you have a question, would like to interview me on your podcast, radio station, or YouTube channel, book me to talk, or have any marketing enquiries, please connect with me via social media, or email me zac@zachary-phillips.com.

I am currently seeking sponsors and guests for the Kinky Conversations Podcast.

I am across all social media @zacpphillips and additionally on Instagram @kink_sex_positive