Am I starving or full? What am I actually craving to eat? When should I stop? And why does it feel like love and food are intertwined?

Recovering from trauma is a long and complex. My current, and longest, battle is around re-establishing the mind-body connection. I want to be know what I am feeling and what those feelings actually mean.

To do this I will be counting-calories. Not to lose weight, but to teach myself what the feelings that arise actually mean - without the added fear, anxiety and ignorance. Please help me to stay on track with this!

In this episode I discuss the impact of over-analysing emotions of others and how excessively reading into tone/facial expressions/word choice can lead to the exact opposite outcomes from what was intended.

I also discuss my positive experiences with the initial stages of EMDR…

Some of my responses to the current state of political turmoil engulfing the United States, as well as the potential flow on impacts for the rest of the world….

I am not in the best way ATM, but unlike previous times I have felt this way I have made a different choice.

Rather than choosing to inebriate myself, I chose not to. I recognised how I would feel during and after the inebriation, and how I have previously felt and made a different choice.

So now I have been left to sit with the pain, but also to recognise that my pain won’t last (because it never lasts).

I can take good actions:
- I followed my crisis plan
- Undertook self-care
- I prioritised my mental health
- I focused on the good

Navigating trauma isn’t easy. Not for the person suffering, nor for the people around them.

When triggered, I am faced with an overwhelming gush of emotionality. I feel afraid. I feel like I am reliving the past trauma. This can cause me to act in a way that seems selfish - I will lash out, require comfort or alone time. I can seem angry and ungrateful - Despite this, I need the support of those close to me.

Open and honest communication is key.

In this episode, I read and dissect my poem 'I Over Thought It & Hurt My Own Feelings,’ and discuss how you can help someone who has been triggered.

As a response to trauma, we may dissociate.

This is a defence mechanism, one that keeps us safe from the terrors of the moment. It blocks us off from reality and keeps us safe.

Unfortunately, this process can run rampant, triggering itself in times of safety and peace, leaving us confused and unable to understand what is happening or explain it to ourselves or others.

In this episode I read and dissect my poem ‘How Do I Explain This Feeling’.

When you get triggered it can feel like the world is ending, like all your past trauma is happening simultaneously.

In this episode I discuss how it feels for me, as well as what I do about it in the moment and over the long term.