I'm 'Fine'

 

I’m fine …
Actually, I'm really struggling.
I feel anxious and depressed.
My head hurts.
I'm so tired.
I can't hold down a job.
It feels like my life is slowly falling apart.
I'm not lazy, I am sick.
I know I look normal.
No, I can't prove this to you.
My illness is invisible.
Yes, I have good days,
No that does not mean that I'm faking the bad ones.
I'm not looking for attention.
I'm still learning my limitations.
I see the glances, hear the comments and feel shamed.
I didn’t ask for this and I don’t deserve this.
Yet here I am, and I am certainly not
‘Fine’.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
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Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

The (un)Happy Family

 

***Trigger Warning***

Sure we seem normal from the outside,
But look closer and you will see,
The crevasses and cracks appearing,
In this happy family.

Daddy’s upright and professional,
Leaving for work early each day,
Except he’s banging his manager,
Yep, he is a closeted gay.

It started out as an extortion attempt,
The boss abusing his position,
Until Dad realised he enjoyed it,
Now he’s happy to be in submission.

It’s led to promotions,
And a new corner workspace,
Now he’s grooming his secretary,
Putting him in the same place.

Then there’s my little sister,
As cute as a button,
But on her first day of school,
She was taken as mutton.

Her teacher said she was naughty,
She was to stay back after class,
Told her to write lines,
But it was all just a farce.

My sister God bless her,
Hasn’t told a soul,
She just cut up her arms,
And eats to fill the hole.

My brother is nice and polite,
He always smiles appropriately.
But when left alone,
He acts demonstrably.

He is the reason why
Our cat passed away,
And why we no longer have
Our two dogs to play.

He wets the bed,
And lights garden fires
He once lost his mask,
And slashed some car tyres.

My big sister is devout,
Good grades, charity and service.
Because whether it’s in church or the floor,
On her knees she certainly isn’t nervous.

She almost got caught once,
In a locker room stall.
But her reputation as a saint,
Provided a deceptive shawl.

No she won’t go all the way,
She’s waiting for that special someone,
But that doesn’t stop her,
Giving all the boys some fun.

Now Mother’s a special case,
She keeps herself done up all nice,
Maintaining a pretty house,
And playing the good wife.

But when Dad’s at work,
And the kids are all out,
She downs some special pills,
And just lazes about.

She’s not happy with her life,
But isn’t sure why,
All she knows,
Is that she’s planning to die.

What about me you ask,
Have I faired any better?
Well I’ve learnt to keep myself hidden,
With silence as my fetter.

It’s better when I’m ignored,
And left to my own devices,
Because if I need them for anything,
I have to make some sacrifices.

Giving up my dinner,
Is much more preferred.
Than to be locked in my room,
With my screams overheard.

This is my happy family,
We keep to our own,
Never letting people in,
Learning to act the drone.

We don’t speak up,
No one could understand,
Nor could they do anything,
Cause they won’t see it first hand.

Dad’s never home,
And mum could be sober for a day,
My brother’s playing in backyard,
My big sister will just pray.

Nor will you see the cuts,
On my little sister’s arms,
Like me she covers her wounds
And other signs of self harm.

Besides, we would all defend each other
When push comes to shove,
Because know that the real danger,
Comes from outside of family love.

Despite all their problems,
They are all that I’ve got.
So what else can I do,
But accept them as my lot?


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Memory Violation

 

brain oscillation
no concentration
thought invasion
constant rumination
memory violation
past commiseration
unwanted stimulation
apologetic compensation
fleeting determination
hypocritical deliberation
personality creation
false presentation
total ostentation
needing defibrillation


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Paradox of Affliction

 

I need you to help me,
But you overwhelm me.

I need support,
But I cannot bring myself to ask.

I need an intervention,
But I will fight against change.

I need answers,
But I don’t know what to ask.

I need a miracle,
But I don’t believe they exist.

I need something,
But I don’t know what it is.

I need this to stop,
But I’m too afraid to act.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Prognosis

 

I’m sorry to confirm,
You have a case of thought worm.

Soon they will infect your brain,
With reverberated pain.

They will burrow and squirm
And spread their sperm.

Then their spawn will begin to drain
And eventually you’ll be driven insane

You gotta hold firm,
Cause you’re in it for the long term.

I say it again,
In vigilance you must remain.

Still, you’re gonna end up infirm,
Cause you’re infected by a thought worm.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Tears

 

your tears came
a moment too late
their worth voided
upon creation


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Nothing

 

i don’t want
to do
anything
yet
even doing nothing
is still
something


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Other Than Here

 

The inner storm meets outer calm.
A silent fury.
Impotent rage not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.

The inner fog meets outer clarity.
A quiet constriction.
Clear thought not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.

The inner grime meets outer cleanliness.
A mute warning.
Functionality not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Play

 

watching him play
i disappeared
and in that space
the world opened up


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Lickety-Split

 

I wanna quit
I’m just not with it
Feeling like shit
Feeling like a misfit
An unfit and unlit hypocrite
In need of a refit

No longer with the energy to commit
Unable to continue sharing my wit
Unable to continue to submit
Unable to fulfil his holy writ

A social counterfeit
A fool with his brain split
Someone who’s no longer legit

Some kinda halfwit
Rolling without a permit
In need of a babysit

I’m unfit
An empty tool kit
A horse without its bit
A victim that’s gaslit
A plane without a cockpit
A radio with nothing to transmit

Guilt that’s impossible to acquit
Pain that I can no longer omit

Not without a wrist slit

Not without a friend to get close-knit
Someone that allows me to admit
All of my turmoil and bullshit
Someone with the necessary grit
To make the darkness sunlit
Someone that won’t just split
The moment I fall into a pit

If that’s you, please send help, lickety-split


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Take The Damn Pill

 

Take the damn pill,
You’re on it for a reason.
It’s to stop you feeling ill,
To keep you from self-treason.

Sure, you’re feeling fine,
But how long will it last?
You know you’re not divine,
Just look back at your past.

There was that time you went cold turkey,
When you knew it would be fine.
Instead, your mind went murky,
And you turned to a life of crime.

Or when you got the jitters,
So bad you couldn’t sleep.
Feeling your skin crawling with critters,
Causing you to weep.

Or that time you almost died,
When depression came back strong.
Or the time that you lied,
To yourself that something wasn’t wrong.

Take the damn pill,
You’re on it for a reason.
I don’t want to be reading your will,
As the last act of the season.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Let Me Be Me

 

I look different from the inside.

I know what you see,
But you don’t know what I hide,
You think it’s just smiles and glee.

Really I don’t feel safe to confide,
Cause’ I’ve got demons you see.

They cajole, sow doubts, and chide
Making me question what it is to be me.

Showing my faults, destroying my pride
Highlighting how I act differently.

They remind me of when I cried,
And make me think all fuzzy.

They suggest I shouldn’t have tried,
Confusion they guarantee.

I just want to be free, to be, and to be me.
To not worry about what you see, or wanting to flee, or to fit some unspoken decree.
What’s the key? Can thee enlighten me?

Or should I hide inside, bide my time, and chide?
Swallow my pride and wish I’d simply died?
Please confide, be my guide, and give me what I’ve been denied. 

Ah, I see, you lied.
You see me as debris.

You barely even tried,
Before making me feel crappy.

‘Cause you were the one who cried
And spoke with such irony.

Like it was me who beat your backside,
And me who raised you absently,
And me who caused your family to divide,
And me who acted grotesquely,
And me who failed to provide,
And me who never gave an apology.

No, I’ve said sorry.
My actions weren’t justified.

But I am not them and I will never be.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Laughing

 

I don’t want
to be
where
I am

I could move but
there is
nowhere
I can go

I am trapped
inside
my cursed
mind

It follows
me
everywhere
laughing
at my
pain


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Is This?

 

is this a cry
for attention
or
a cry
for help?
is there really a difference?


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Scrying Thoughts

 

bong hit
smoke eyes
see life
father’s eyes
different pain
new disguise
hot take
fresh lies
core aspects
i despise
diverted focus
stoned highs
scrying thoughts
child cries
look close
perpetual demise
broken dreams
sharp knives
self-worth
clichéd rhymes


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

The Derelict

 

The first thing you notice are his bare feet,
Black and dirty.
Lacking a chair, he squats.
Lacking a home, he squats.
The second thing you notice are his eyes,
Sunken and hollow.
Desperate.
You walk.
He sees you seeing him.
You walk faster.
He smiles wide.
His teeth are as broken as the dwelling he guards.
Shattered windows for a shattered soul.
He calls out.
You walk faster still.
His sunken eyes suddenly grow sharp.
He recognises an opportunity.
You wear things of value.
You are something of value.
A second voice joins the first,
And then a third.
They point.
They chuckle.
They stand.
Your wealth represents their high.
Your body represents their high.
You run.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

Red Flag Chaser

 

I’m a red flag chaser
A self-debaser
That tattooed look
Leaves me shook
Dabbling in drugs
With ‘caring’ thugs
Incredible sex
For the brain hex
Insightful conversations
Just distracted ruminations
Same toxic pattern
From abstinent to slattern
A mirror’s shame
Only myself to blame
Left alone and burnt
No lesson learnt
I get off on the thrill
Of you losing your chill
I hate when you insist
With a scream and a fist
But it’s worth the pain
To feel like myself again
A childhood’s toll
Red flags make me whole
The end of another fight
This is love, right?


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 

Mojito the Bandito

 

Mojito the Bandito,
On the run from the law.
Hired an impersonator,
So in two places, he can be saw.

Committing crimes,
But seen with an alibi.
The adventures he had,
His schemes weren’t shy.

The cartels took notice,
Alas it couldn’t last,
Told Mojito to stop,
Or his head they would blast.

But Mojito wasn’t stupid,
He had a plan to enact,
Told his impersonator to wait,
Then it was Mojito’s time to act.

He shot the man himself,
Displayed his body on the town’s wall.
Made the cartels happy,
And Mojito attended his own funeral.

Now he rides free,
A gun at his side.
Named Mojito no more,
His face he must hide.

Beware the masked bandit,
The criminal with no name,
He will kill you where you stand,
And leave with no shame.


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

Imperfect Synonyms

 

i hate
imperfect synonyms
unless I’m desperate
for a rhyme

language specificity
is imperative
for effective communication
and management of time


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

 
Comment

Zachary Phillips

Zachary Phillips is a poet, author, mental health advocate, and mindset coach. In these roles he has helped thousands of people move from a place of surviving to passionately thriving.

He is the author of 17 books, teaches on Skillshare, Insight Timer, and Udemy, hosts the Reality Check podcast, and is the creator of the Ask A Poet YouTube channel.

He is a qualified teacher, personal trainer, life long martial artist & coach, disability support worker, Reiki master, and is currently studying a Master of Counselling.

It's Not Wrong

 

It’s not wrong to disagree
Just make sure you speak fairly

It’s not wrong to say goodbye
Just make sure you first try

It’s not wrong to say sorry
Just make sure it’s not out of worry

It’s not wrong to up and leave
Just make sure your heart’s on your sleeve

It’s not wrong to be incompatible
Just make sure you stay amiable

It’s not wrong to put yourself first
Just make sure you avoid the worst


This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.