Let Me Be Me

I look different from the inside.

I know what you see,
But you don’t know what I hide,
You think it’s just smiles and glee.

Really I don’t feel safe to confide,
Cause’ I’ve got demons you see.

They cajole, sow doubts and chide,
Making me question what it is to be me.

Showing my faults, destroying my pride,
Highlighting how I act differently.

They remind me of when I cried,
And make me think all fuzzy.

They suggest I shouldn’t have tried,
Confusion they guarantee.

I just want to be free,
To be and to be me.
To not worry about what you see,
Or wanting to flee,
Or to fit some unspoken decree.
What’s the key?
Can thee enlighten me?

Or should I hide inside,
Bide my time and chide?
Swallow my pride and wish I’d simply died?
Please confide, be my guide,
And give me what I’ve been denied.

Ah, I see, you lied.
You see me as debris.

You barely even tried,
Before making me feel crappy.

‘Cause you were the one who cried
And spoke with such irony. 

Like it was me who beat your backside,
And me who raised you absently,
And me who caused your family to divide,
And me who acted grotesquely,
And me who failed to provide,
And me who never gave an apology.

No, I’ve said sorry.
My actions weren’t justified.
But I am not them and I will never be.

Don’t you see?
You need therapy.
I’m not being snide,
Because in this, you are just like me.

Confide in an expert.
Tell them your story.
Share what you were denied,
Open up and actually let someone inside.

Ah, I see you lied.
You don’t want recovery, just an excuse to hide.
I have tried, and it didn’t work,
So please set me free, and
Let me be me.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

You Say

You say you love me,
But you don’t know me,
Not the full me,
Not every part of me,
Not as I really am.

You say I should open up,
That I should share,
That I should let you in,
Into my inner world,
Into my mind, my emotions, my everything.

You say you will accept me,
But that’s a lie,
You don’t know me,
Not all of me,
Not the parts you haven’t seen.

Do you know yourself well enough?
How will you react to me?
What will you do when I show you?
What will you think of my darkness?
My pain? My weaknesses? My desires?

No.
You only accept the parts you’ve seen.
Then you make assumptions,
Of yourself,
Of me.

That I’m not that bad,
That there isn’t much more,
That embarrassment holds me back,
That you can save me,
That you would want to.

It is safer to hide,
To show a just little,
Just the parts that are acceptable,
The parts I have practiced,
The parts that work.

You don’t love me,
You just love those parts,
You just love the surface,
Your love hasn’t touched the depths,
It never will.

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This poem is inspired by the book, ‘How To Write Evocative Poetry’.

You can read some chapters from the book, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.