- Ch: 12 of Mindfulness, A Guidebook to the Present Moment -

‘Meditation is not passive sitting in silence. It is sitting in awareness, free from distraction, and realizing the clear understanding that arises from concentration’ – Thich Nhat Hanh

Before we progress into the advanced practice component of this book, it is important to address some common myths and misconceptions about mindfulness. Below you will find some of the questions, beliefs and concerns people have prior to starting a mindfulness practice, as well as some of the things they wished they knew earlier on. Thank you to my followers, clients, and readers for responding to my call for help on this one. For space reasons, I have amalgamated and summarized your questions and addressed them thematically.

Mindfulness is not religious

Although many religions have a form of meditation practice built into them, mindfulness meditation itself is completely secular. Your belief or lack of belief in a deity or your level of devotion at a church, mosque, temple, or shrine, has no impact on the effect of mindfulness. There is no invocation of any deity, use of religious words, worship, or idolatry. Just observation of the breath.

Curiously, prayer repetition, prostrations, the use of rosary beads, fasting, rituals, and chanting all involve focusing on a particular stimulus to the exclusion of all else. Although not the same as mindfulness mediation, the practice is similar enough to provide comparable benefits to practitioners. There is a reason that these practices are so pervasive amongst disparate and competing religions – namely that mindfulness has positive benefits, regardless of the religious overtones. This is explored in more depth in the mantra repetition section of part three.

Mindfulness is not spiritual

Unlike many other forms of meditation, mindfulness is not spiritual. It makes no claims about esoterica, miracles, God, or healing energy; but rather it invites you to observe reality without judgement or filter. It strips away the layers of context, labels, and other mental phenomena, leaving you with a vision of raw consciousness. Not in an overawing, ‘the heaven opens up’ kind of way, but rather in the subtle understanding that there really was nothing to do, and nothing to strive for.

There is no channelling or chanting necessary. No prayers need to be spoken, and your mind will not leave your body.

Mindfulness should not ‘feel good’

We do not practice mindfulness to feel good, bliss out, get high, relax, or experience any other altered state. Rather we practice so that we can get a better grasp of how we are already feeling and so that we pay clearer attention to the present moment. Some kinds of meditation, like Kundalini, chanting, visualisations, and invocations all aim to put the meditator into some kind of altered state, that is a state that is different from where they where prior to starting the session, and while we practice meditation to hone our mind, and reap long term benefits. A change of state is not the goal of our daily practice. Striving to change something is almost the quintessential opposite to mindfulness, so if you find yourself in an undesirable state, rather than attempting to change it, instead investigate it with as much focused attention as you can.

Lifestyle changes are not necessary

All you must do to start meditating is to find the time to start meditating, and then do it. You do not need to give away your possessions, join a cult, quit your job, or change your diet.

You just need to start meditating.

Just like how meditation is not religious, it is also not moral. That is not to say that it is ‘immoral’, rather that the act of meditation inherently has no moral status. You are just observing your breath. Thus, mindfulness requires no changes to the practitioner’s behaviour other than that they practice. That said, meditation will force you to look at the mental phenomena that arises in your mind, and if your actions are immoral, inconsiderate, or deceitful, you will be repeatedly confronted by related feelings. This will lead to changes in some people, but not all.

Joining a meditation group is not necessary

You can start meditating right now without the help or support from any formal teacher or group. However, like all things, some people get a lot of benefit from having likeminded people around them all with the same goal, as well as with a teacher supporting them in the process. Given that meditation is completely an internal affair, it can be hard to ‘know’ if you are doing it right, these kinds of questions can be best addressed by an experienced teacher.

Unfortunately, meditation groups can be a mixed bag. Some are highly traditional or religious and combine the mindfulness meditation practice with chanting, rituals, incense, clothing, and other ‘spiritual’ paraphernalia. This is appealing and helpful for some, but very off putting to others. If you want to find a teacher or a class, shop around until you find one that suits your needs. Until then, keep practicing on your own.

When to start?

Start today, start right now. A lot of people hear about the benefits of meditation and say that they cannot start now because they are ‘not in a good enough place’ to meditate. This is like saying that you are not fit enough to start exercising or too unhealthy to begin dieting.

Meditation will help to address the problems in your life, if only by helping you to approach them in a calmer manner. It will never feel like the right time to make any change, you just have to begin. In time, the benefits will come.

Meditation is not a cure-all

Despite the many benefits that people experience through their practice, mindfulness practice is not a panacea. It is not the solution to all illness, bodily conditions, relationship problems or other forms of strife. I prefer to look at it as another tool in the self-care toolbox, a highly versatile tool, but not the only thing at my disposal.

See the doctors and therapists, take the medications, have a good diet and sleep regime, exercise daily, talk with your friends, and journal. Despite what some practitioners and teachers will suggest, it is folly to believe that mindfulness can do everything. However, what it can do is help you to get the most out of all your other self-care actions, as well as assist you in finding the most appropriate forms of care for your unique situation.

No thoughts?

The goal of mindfulness meditation is not to ‘empty the mind’ or stop all thoughts. This is a common cliché shown in media, movies, and books, and it causes beginning practitioners all kinds of dramas. When they close their eyes on the meditation mat for the first time they quickly become overwhelmed by the onslaught of their minds. For many, this first sit, is also the first time in a long while where they have had any prolonged silence, so they are shocked by the volume of their thoughts, and then dismayed at their inability to silence them.

Our goal is not to have a still mind, but rather to observe it, without judgement, for what it is, as it is. In some sessions, the mind will be relatively still, like a tranquil pond. In other sessions it will be like a raging torrent cascading off a cliff. The mindfulness meditator’s response to both is the same: observation without judgement, and the gentle returning of the mind back to the meditation object when it wanders.

With this said, practice will cause the mind to quiet down somewhat, and our ability to keep attention focused in one place will increase. Thus, there is a level of mental peace that will naturally arise. But that peace is not the goal, and to strive for it will both be ineffective, and counter to the essence of mindfulness meditation.

Meditation and mental illness

In his book ‘One Blade of Grass’, Zen master Henry Shukman highlights the importance of traditional (western) therapies working in conjunction with meditation. His story highlights how contemplative practices can work hand in hand with psychology to reduce personal suffering, suggesting that Zen or any meditative practice on its own, may not be enough for most people to overcome the impact of trauma, abuse, neglect, and other mental illnesses. I totally agree. And to be clear, mindfulness meditation is not a cure or treatment for any mental illness. It is a form of self-care, healing and growth that can assist with recovery, but it should be used in conjunction with traditional (medical) options, and with the guidance of a mental health professional.

In some cases, the traditional approaches to teaching and practicing mindfulness, yoga, and other meditative practices can run counter to the needs of those with certain conditions. This is aptly highlighted in David Treleaven’s book ‘Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness’; for some people certain words, actions or objects of focus can be triggering, and thus cause extreme emotional duress. For these people, alternative approaches to the practice are recommended.

If you have a mental illness, history of past trauma or neglect, or any other medical condition, I suggest that you speak to your health professional and make changes where appropriate. Keep taking your medication and doing all the other work that they recommend, they are the experts here.

I have no time to meditate

Daily mindfulness meditation will actually increase the amount of time that you have at your disposal. It will help you to identify and eliminate wasted down time, prioritise and focus your attentions onto important tasks, and to get you working more effectively.

That said, finding the time to fit it into your day can initially be a challenge. This is why I suggest starting small, just one to five minutes a day. Cut that time off social media or television. Do it in your lunch break, or as part of your morning routine. Over time, you will find that life will open for you and you will begin prioritising it over other activities.

I take the feeling of ‘being too busy to meditate’ as a sign that I really need to do it. For most people, those feelings of busyness are the symptoms of a distracted and unfocused mind, a mind that needs meditation!

Mindfulness for children

I am a parent of two and I was a schoolteacher for ten years, so I can attest to the benefits of mindfulness for children. But like most things with kids, just because you say it is good for them, does not mean they will do it. And to be fair, at first glance meditation does seem quite boring and pointless, ‘What do you mean I am to sit still and focus on my breathing? For how long? What about my video games, friends and you know, literally everything else I could be doing with my time Dad?’.

If you want them to meditate, you will need to do two things: model the behavior and make them interested in it.

The first part is easy, if you meditate daily, they will see you doing it, and thus meditating will not be something weird that they have to do, but not you. If they see you sitting each day, and then importantly being more attentive, calmer, and more fun after a session, they will see the benefits directly.

To make meditation engaging, you could try guided meditations that are themed around their interests. A quick search online will produce a variety of catered results that may capture their interests: there are Pokemon, Thomas the Tank Engine, and all kinds of other guided pop culture meditations. Start with a quick session and grow from there; two minutes a day for a year is far more beneficial then 15 minutes a day for a week. For added longevity, do these sessions with them. You can also add mindfulness moments to their day, take some time to highlight things that are happening in the present moment, for example, ‘How nice is the warmth of the sun right now?’, ‘Look at that full moon’, ‘Hey, check out this caterpillar eating this leaf’. The idea is that you are training them to get out of their heads and into the present moment. Finally, you may find that your child may be more receptive to a family friend or the ‘cool’ Aunty or Uncle suggesting a formal practice.

Whatever you do, do not make meditation into a chore, or make a reward contingent on them meditating. They may sit in silence, but they will not be mindful. What is more, they will quickly start resenting all things meditation.

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