How To Know If You Are Meditating Correctly

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- Ch: 12 of Mindfulness, A Guidebook to the Present Moment -

‘‘We have only now, only this single eternal moment opening and unfolding before us, day and night.’ – Jack Kornfield

Knowing if you are meditating correctly is uniquely challenging. Unlike most other pursuits, it is completely internal, and the results are entirely subjective. You could watch two people sitting, one in deep meditation and the other lost in a daydream, and not be able to tell who was doing what. In fact, the day dreamer may emerge from their sit appearing more refreshed and relaxed than when they began, whereas the meditator may appear exhausted.

How you feel after a session is not the best indicator of success.

So how do you know if you are meditating and not just thinking with your eyes closed? The simple answer is that you need to develop a heightened sense of introspection, that is, the ability to recognise and know your own internal state. The good news is that mindfulness itself trains those skills, but of course the bad news is that you must be meditating correctly to get them. Therefore, we are faced with a chicken and egg kind of situation. You need to meditate to know how if you are meditating correctly.

The way out of this bind is to simply persevere with your practice. Give it your best effort and sit with the intention of attaining the mindfulness state. Be curious about your inner world and experiment with the exercises in this book. Drop any expectations or assumptions you have about meditation, and what you think you should or should not be experiencing. Simply attempt to observe the contents of consciousness. Easier said than done of course, and I am painfully aware that I am repeating the instructions once again to meditate more, but that really is what will work. In time you will have the knowledge and experience to better ‘see’ what is happening and then make appropriate adjustments to your practice.

Although meditation is a solo activity, you are not alone. So, if you are still unsure, I would encourage you to engage with the content in the resources section, employ the services of a meditation instructor, and join a meditation group or community. Doing so will enable you to ask specific questions, and get instructions on the same content, delivered differently. In my experience as a teacher, I have seen how it sometimes takes multiple iterations or interpretations for a particular instruction or concept to click. The phrasings used in this book may be spot on for you, or perhaps the use of different words and analogies would better illuminate a particular part of the practice. So, ask your questions widely, and share your experiences on the mat with others, together we will learn how to best navigate our inner worlds.

The other way to know if you are meditating correctly is to observe your results over time. This does not mean noting down whether you felt good after your last session, but rather, looking at the trend of your life. After six months of consistent meditation take stock of your life and ask yourself, am I more functional? Am I calmer? Do I lose my temper less often? Is there less drama in my life? Have my relationships improved? Do I better manage stressful situations? Am I more optimistic? If you can answer yes to most of these questions, it is likely that you are doing something right. Does this mean your meditation technique is perfect? Of course not, there is always more to go, and room to improve. But it means you are on the right path.

If, however, you have noticed no changes, look over the previous paragraphs and try the suggestions there. You may also find some benefit from engaging with a professional therapist, as there may be some underlying psychological hang-ups that go well beyond the scope of this book. This is nothing to be ashamed of, I and many other well-known meditation instructors use therapy as part of a well-rounded approach to mental health. The traditionalists may insist that the proper application of mindfulness is enough to cure all mental afflictions, but I am not convinced. Psychology has come a long way in recent times, and just as you would see a doctor for a physical injury, you should also see a therapist for mental afflictions where necessary. The advice of a good therapist will act as a perfect complement to your own inner work.

Are you meditating, or just thinking with your eyes closes?

There is no correct way to feel during mindfulness meditation. It is not a trance or altered state of consciousness. It is not a feeling of elation, happiness, or pleasure. Rather it is a settling down into the present moment. It is an observation of reality as it is, for what it is. So, if you find yourself striving to ‘get there’ or ‘feel it’, that itself is a sign that you need to return to the sensations of the breath at the nose. Observe those feelings as yet anther variation of consciousness, just another thought or emotion of your mind.