It Is Never The Right Time So Stop Stalling & Do It Now

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It Is Never The Right Time
- Ch: 6.2 of How To Get Your Sh!t Together -

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill

There are as many reasons not to ‘Follow Your Dreams’ as there are dreams to have. I know this from firsthand experience.

For the longest part of my life I was just waiting. I was safe, stuck in a comfortable rut with my anxiety holding me back from taking any real action towards pursuing my dreams. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was far from satisfied.

I knew what I wanted to do. I had massive goals that I wanted to achieve, things I wanted to create and challenges that I wanted to attempt. Bucket list kind of things. But I was too afraid to take action. I was waiting for the right time. Then I would act. Then I would take the plunge and start living my life.

I figured that once I had a secure base to operate from, I would finally feel comfortable taking action. The problem was that the goalposts kept shifting.

There was always another reason not to take action.

Every time I solved a problem that was holding me back, I would notice another problem. Solving that one problem only revealed another. So I kept to the status quo and continued waiting. My anxiety was masquerading as prudency. I would watch each year pass, and say to myself that next year will be the year that I will act. Once I had resolved the issues in my life, I would be free to take action. Unsurprisingly this never happened.

As time passed, my mental health deteriorated. My anxiety levels skyrocketed and depression flared up. I became so bad that I began to struggle with self-harm and suicidal thoughts. I wanted out, but was too afraid to do anything to change my situation. I broke down, suffering from a quarter life crisis of sorts. It was clear that unless I accepted that it will never feel like the right time to take action, I never would take action.

This realisation of course didn’t resolve the anxiety, or solve the problems that I thought needed addressing. But it did help me to realise something. Everyone has issues that they are facing, yet people still do amazing things. Every story of success begins with challenges. Every time someone pursues their dreams, they do so in spite of the barriers that stand in their way.

It didn’t feel like the right time, yet they took action, and they got the results.

So I stopped teaching high school full time, and upskilled to become a martial arts instructor. I also began writing, vloging and podcasting, sharing my story with the world, and helping others through similar life circumstances. I started travelling and tried new hobbies. I had a child.

Was there challenges and setbacks? Of course, but just as I discussed in chapter 1.5 ‘Overtly State Your Anxiety,’ my worst fears never eventuated. I did have issues of course, but I was able to address them at the time. The best part? By overcoming those challenges I grew stronger.

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TAKE ACTION

1) At the top of a page, write down a goal that you want to achieve.

2) Below that goal, write down every reason why you are not taking action on it yet. These are the things that if they were resolved, you would begin following your dream today.

I have listed some common reasons below, but please add more of your own.

- you are too busy
- work commitments take away the necessary time
- your spouse or family is not supportive
- you don’t have the experience or skills needed
- you don’t have the required start-up capital
- market conditions are not right at the moment
- you are too young
- you are too old
- your children are not the right age to make the change
- your other goals are stopping you
- friends and family don’t see your vision
- there are no opportunities to do your dream, given where you live
- you are too mentally distracted at the moment
- your mental afflictions will stop you

3) Review your responses, and ask yourself the following question.

“Will there ever be a time when all your reasons are resolved?”

If you answered “No”, then you now have two options.

Either you have to give up on that goal, or accept the fact that there will always be reasons that you ‘shouldn’t’ pursue it, but you will attempt to do so anyway.

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Remember, there will always be a reason not to act, yet people accomplish goals all the time.

Let’s say you have the goal of writing a novel. You could easily say to yourself,

‘With my work commitments, young child and social obligations, I don’t have enough time right now. When things settle down, I will write it then’. This seems like a reasonable enough compromise - When life gives you the opportunity to do so, you will write.

Unfortunately, if you just accept this line of reasoning, the chances of you actually writing the novel will be slim to none.

You will never have the time, unless you make it.

Work will always demand a certain amount of your time, which will only increase with experience and position. You will always have family commitments and obligations taking up your holiday time. The same life obligations that have taken up your time now, will continue to take up time in your future.

You will most likely defer writing the novel until you are retired or are on long service leave. This may work, but likely it won’t. By then there will be other time sinks, obligations and commitments that could potentially take your time. Besides, the idea may go stale if you don’t act upon it. You will have missed your opportunity. Long story short, you will never feel like you have the time to write a novel.

When you acknowledge that there will always be a reason not to act, yet commit to acting anyway, amazing things happen.

It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen, if you make it happen. The following TAKE ACTION will help you take the first step towards your life goal.

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TAKE ACTION

Revisit your goal from the first TAKE ACTION above.

1) Write down the smallest step that you could take today towards pursuing your goal. It does not matter how small this would be compared to actually accomplishing it.

2) Put this book down and do that smallest step.

3) Ignore the voice that is popping up telling you why you shouldn’t take this action – Where has that voice gotten you in the past?

4) Seriously, what are you waiting for? Go and do it. Right now.

5) Repeat this process daily until you have accomplished your goal.

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I realise that the advice in this chapter is literally akin to ‘just do it’. But realistically, what more could I write here? I will say it one more time: Unless you take the steps to do it, it will never get done.

How important are your dreams to you? If you are struggling to take action on this one, perhaps you need to reevaluate what you truly ‘Value’ (chapter 5.2).

Problems and Solutions

Problem: ‘I don’t have enough time’

Solution: Spend less time socialising, watching TV, or on your hobbies. Consider changing jobs and cutting time sinking activities and people – Read chapter 3.5, ‘Change Habits Slowly’

Problem: ‘I can’t afford to change jobs’

Solution: Can you downsize your life in any way? Do you need so many rooms in the house? Do you need such a new car? Can you remove some subscriptions services? Do you need to eat out so often? Do you need all of the latest technology? – Read chapter 4.3, ‘Get Your Finances In Order’

Problem: ‘My family/friends don’t support me’

Solution: Most people don’t believe in something until it has been done. Unfortunately you may have to take action despite their negative attitude towards your goal. Often, the people close to us can be the biggest haters and naysayers out there. They do this out of love – they can only see the potential downside, they don’t have your vision or your dream. Thus they advise caution. – Read chapter 6.8, ‘Ignore The Haters’

Problem: ‘I am too old’

Solution: You are not getting any younger. Take action now, because if the goal is time based, it will only get harder as time goes on. – Read chapter 6.4, ‘Stop Thinking Start Doing’

Problem: ‘I am too mentally distracted’

Solution: Close some mental tabs and reconsider. Often we can find ourselves with many projects all going at once. Unfortunately this can have the effect of overwhelming us into stagnation. Take daily actions to finish off any outstanding tasks. Do your taxes, make the phone call, complete the repairs, do the shopping, and make the needed enquiries – Read chapter 4.6, ‘Eliminate As Many Decisions As Possible’

Problem: ‘Family commitments are stopping me’

Solution: Self-sacrifice is not necessarily the best solution to parenthood. You are modelling behaviours that your children will adopt for themselves. Do you want them to take risks in order to follow their dreams? If so, model that behavior * – Read chapter 5.2, ‘Live By Your Values’

*Note, I am not by any means saying that you should drop everything and just go. You most definitely need to plan and work out your direction. Rather, I am wanting you to overcome your mental barriers that are presented as practical problems.

Dealing With Actual Problems

There will of course be actual road blocks that will be necessary to overcome in order to accomplish your dream. Some things just have to happen before other things can. However, you can still take action towards your goal. Although it may not feel like it at the time, working on and completing the first task, is in fact taking action towards your overall goal.

If you need to work more to save up some money for a holiday – get working.

If you need a degree to attain your dream job – get studying.

If you need to increase fitness to win the competition – get in the gym.

Just don’t let the preliminary hurdles stop you from taking action.

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Frequently Asked Questions
Q) I know that I should take action, and not taking action is making me slip further and further into depression. Despite this, I am still afraid to take the plunge and risk it all.

A) Rarely will a change cause you to risk it all. Often things can return to normal, provided you are willing to eat humble pie, apologise and not burn any bridges. True, depending on the change that you want to make, there will be some risk involved, and that can be scary. But what is the alternative? Your goals won’t just vanish. In one year or five or ten, you will still be wanting to make these changes and still be afraid to do so.

Eventually something will have to give. You will either decide to take action, or the inaction will cause you to fall further into depression, only this time you will have the added impact of knowing that you waited years before acting.

I would suggest talking through this fear of action with a competent counsellor or trusted friend who can help you to really dig down into the specifics of what is exactly holding you back. If you are open to their feedback, their detached perspective could help you to realise that taking action is not as risky as it now seems. Alternatively they could help you to implement strategies to cope with the risk that is present.

Resources
The War Of Art, Steven Pressfield
Extreme Ownership, Jocko Willink

Summary
Recognise that it will never feel like the right time to take action, and that there will always be a reason not to follow your dreams. Do it regardless. Taking action is the only way to achieve success.