i’m worth keeping
/upon waking
i’m dismayed to discover myself already breaking
thoughts preaching
lights beaming
whispered voices that feel like screaming
i find myself fleeing
huddling in a corner
counting heartbeats
shallow breathing
i can actually feel my rationality leaving
whatever i was is now just dissociated dreaming
i long to find meaning
behind these tears now streaming
but all i can muster is passive disbelieving
i thought such pain was leaving
i thought i was a book worth reading
i thought by sharing and speaking
my days would be filled with more than just ink bleeding
time passes and i hear my kids pleading
they want their dad
not some broken mess stuck self-defeating
time to put on the mask and pretend that the world has stopped screeching
that my thoughts are no longer scheming
and that my pain is receding
but then they hug me and tell me i’m worth keeping
they jump and laugh with smiles gleaming
inviting me to play
requesting
repeating
a loving greeting worth receiving
the world softens
stuck turns fleeting
colour returns
that unmovable block retreating
tension releasing
light increasing
clear seeing
i hold them
and commit to continue proceeding
today was hard
but sometimes just surviving counts as succeeding
This poem is inspired by the book, ‘How To Write Evocative Poetry’.
You can read some chapters from the book, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.