Distortions

My mind creates this world.
How can you say I am not God?
Every character, every scene, every aspect;
All a variation of myself.

Created in my image, created in my mind.
Both with and without intention.
The universe forever expanding
Inwardly as it does outwardly.

Distortions of reality,
More elegant than any alternate world.
Why should I leave?

Here I am something,
Simultaneously at, in and above myself.
A beautiful story of consciousness,
Played in a theatre of dreams.

Time passes, I open my eyes.
My focus wanes and I begin to forget.
Only the feelings remain,
Glorious certainty, a guide to my higher self.
Fragments of my truth are written and told.
Just a mere representation, a lie.
Imagination takes hold,
Corrupting, corroding, filling the gaps.

Stop. Let me remember.
Let me feel again,
I want the unadulterated truth.

I want to be back there again,
Where I feel divine,
Where it feels right.

Where I don't feel like a character
In someone else's dream.
I want to be present,
Both creating and existing simultaneously.

Doubts creep in,
It was just a beautiful distortion of reality,
A test of faith. Nothing to see here,
Move along. I am awake. It's gone.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

i drift

i drift

away from you
and
from the parts of me
that know i am drifting

only later
do i see
my wake

i hear your words
i see your pain
i know you’re suffering

logically
i realise
that you
need me

it doesn’t help
me to connect

i drift

painful realities
dissipate upon arrival

i drift

directionless
and
devoid of meaning

a raft
without a sail
oblivious to nature’s whims

i am corrupted
by
the act
of forgetting
the act
of forgetting

the pain
is saved
for later

i drift

---

This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.

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If You Get Too Close

If you get too close,
I’ll pull away.
If you talk too kindly,
I won’t stay.

If you push too hard,
I’ll say no.
If you stay too long,
I’ll just go.

If you try too hard,
I’ll soon leave.
If you enquire too personally,
I’ll simply deceive.

But,

If you pull away,
I’ll track you down.
If you don’t stay,
I’ll surely drown.

If you say no,
I won’t know what to do.
If you just go,
I’ll blame it all on you.

If you leave me,
you will soon see
If you deceive me,
I’ll simply plea.

Please,

That you return
and never go.
That I’ve changed,
don’t you know?

That I am
sincerely sorry.
That you don’t
need to worry.

That I am a
new man.
That I have a
mental health plan.

That I won’t
repeat the cycle.
That you are
my one true idol.

That it is your company
that I crave.
That I will worship you
to your grave.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

I Withdraw

I withdraw,
Please don’t take it personally,
It’s just what I do
To keep myself safe.

I want you to understand.

The world is too loud,
The world is too fast,
The world is too big,
The world is too confusing.

It overwhelms me.

The endless conversations,
The unclear demands,
The double sided statements,
And the hidden intentions.

I can’t comprehend it all.

The unstated norms,
The disparate customs,
The popular trends,
And the social conventions.

There is too much pressure.

So I withdraw,
Hiding inside of myself,
Seeking a place of solitude,
Somewhere divorced from reality.

I just need time.

To rest,
To heal,
To process,
And to learn

How to function in this world.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

Let Me Be Me

I look different from the inside.

I know what you see,
But you don’t know what I hide,
You think it’s just smiles and glee.

Really I don’t feel safe to confide,
Cause’ I’ve got demons you see.

They cajole, sow doubts and chide,
Making me question what it is to be me.

Showing my faults, destroying my pride,
Highlighting how I act differently.

They remind me of when I cried,
And make me think all fuzzy.

They suggest I shouldn’t have tried,
Confusion they guarantee.

I just want to be free,
To be and to be me.
To not worry about what you see,
Or wanting to flee,
Or to fit some unspoken decree.
What’s the key?
Can thee enlighten me?

Or should I hide inside,
Bide my time and chide?
Swallow my pride and wish I’d simply died?
Please confide, be my guide,
And give me what I’ve been denied.

Ah, I see, you lied.
You see me as debris.

You barely even tried,
Before making me feel crappy.

‘Cause you were the one who cried
And spoke with such irony. 

Like it was me who beat your backside,
And me who raised you absently,
And me who caused your family to divide,
And me who acted grotesquely,
And me who failed to provide,
And me who never gave an apology.

No, I’ve said sorry.
My actions weren’t justified.
But I am not them and I will never be.

Don’t you see?
You need therapy.
I’m not being snide,
Because in this, you are just like me.

Confide in an expert.
Tell them your story.
Share what you were denied,
Open up and actually let someone inside.

Ah, I see you lied.
You don’t want recovery, just an excuse to hide.
I have tried, and it didn’t work,
So please set me free, and
Let me be me.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

Don't Worry About Me

What's wrong, are you ok?
Why don't you come out and play?
Laugh, smile and have some fun.
It is just wonderful here in the sun!

Take a chance, live a little and smile.
You know we're only here for a little while.
You’re missing out on love, adventure and life.
We never see you, are you in strife?

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Come, let's dance! Be moved and swirled!
Take a chance and step out into the world.
Run and fly until your heart’s content,
Make sure that your life is well spent.

Come and see a movie;
Or watch the waves hit the shore.
You will have a good time,
Just step out the door.

The day is almost over,
The sun is now setting.
Leave no stone unturned,
Don't leave this world regretting.

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Please, I want to see you,
I miss what we once had.
Have I done something to offend you?
Did I make you mad?

I don’t know how to help you,
I am at my wits end.
Please don’t forget that
I have always been your friend.

How about we stay in tonight,
Why don’t I come to you?
There will be nothing for you to prepare,
Nothing you have to do.

We can simply order takeaway,
Watch the same old show,
And when you tell me to leave,
I promise to go.

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Don't worry about me, really, I’m fine.
I stayed up too late, there’s a lot on my plate.
I don’t know what else I can say,
Just believe me; and please go away.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Other Than Here

The inner storm meets outer calm.
A silent fury.
Impotent rage not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.

The inner fog meets outer clarity.
A quiet constriction.
Clear thought not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.

The inner grime meets outer cleanliness.
A mute warning.
Functionality not expressed.

Other than here,
Other than now.

---

This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.

The ABC's of Mental Illness

*Trigger Warning

A - Anxiety

Anxious animals apt at accentuating angst, apprehension, and annoyance.

B - BPD

Borderline bodies berating buddies based on biased beliefs.

C - Crisis Plan

Critical contracts created to consistently control crisis conundrums.

D - Depression

Dark days diabolically dictated by dubious and delusional diatribes.

E - Eating Disorder

Every edible entry erroneously examined, entirely eroding elation.

F - Fatigue

Floundering, flopping and feeling fried, with fleeting fierceness forcing forward fixes.

G - Gambling

Gluttonous gaming gods grabbing guy’s gold, gutting glorious goals.

H - Hoarding

Heedless of his hoard he haplessly hastens his having of a hundred more holdings in his home.

I - Insomnia

Intermittent issues impeding interests, intelligence and insights.

J - Jaded

Justifying judgements that don’t jive as just joking and joining in with the jerky jesting.

K - Kleptomania

Knaves kidnapping kingdoms knowing karmas coming to KO their kink.

L - Lame

Lonely, laden, and lambasted, lost in a labyrinth of languish and laughter.

M - Meds

Medication makes melancholy minds mostly manageable.

N - Narcissism

Neglectful narratives with narrow niceties never noticing normal-natured neighbours.

O - OCD

Obvious overthinking obliterating one’s options, ostensively obscuring optimism.

P - Psychosis

Plain pills placating problematic perceptions, producing pleasant personalities.

Q - Quandary

The quintessential quandary; to be quiet, quirky, queasy or a quitter.

R - Respite

Rest and relaxation resulting in radiant reductions in relationship rundowns.

S - Self Harm

Silently suffering, she slices skin and swallows serious serums.

T - Trauma

Terrifying thunder taking a terrible toll, until time totals thought.

U - Untreated

Unfortunately ultimate unhappiness is upon us, unless we use unconventional unguents.

V - Visibility

Vigorously vocalising our varied invisible viruses invalidates vulgar vitriol.

W - Wellness

Wise worriers work for wellness with whatever willpower we wield.

X - X-rays

Xrays, examinations, explanations and excuses, just expectations for the unexplainable.

Y - Yo-yoing

Yelling a yarn of yearning, for the yeses and yeahs of yesteryear.

Z - Zombie

Zonked zombies on zinc and Zen, totally zapped before the zenith zooms.

---

This poem is inspired by the book, ‘How To Write Evocative Poetry’.

You can read some chapters from the book, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.