The Precipice

I asked myself ‘Who am I?’
This is what came to me.
Then every moment of my life
Flashed before my eyes.
I was both watching it
And was the watching of it.
As I recognised each moment, it fell away.
Burnt into the fire of consciousness.
It was beautiful, terrifying, surreal.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Spiralling Into Darkness

The clarity of the past is blinding,
With ill-conceived words
And deeds now binding.

Longing for a change inside and out,
All I’m left with now is doubt.

Spiralling into darkness,
The void is all I see,
The world is falling down,
Dropping on top of me.

Any feeling is a good feeling,
Bleeding just for the sensation,
Bleeding to feel alive again.

I’m sick of all the trying,
Sick of all the crying,
Sick of everything that I ever was.

All I want to do is let it go,
Not let it show and forget about the rest.

Spiralling into darkness,
The void is consuming me,
The world crashing down,
Tumbling towards me.

What is right or wrong no longer matters, Black and white look the same in darkness.

You think I care, but I don’t,
You think I’ll cry but I won’t.

The problems we once shared
Mean nothing to me now.
Your vanity is shameful,
Your ignorance boundless.

Spiralling into darkness,
The void has engulfed me;
The world has been brought down
And is now smothering me.

Take me away, get me out of myself,
Just one moment of respite is all it will take.
I can only be stretched so far,
Pushed until I break.

To the memories that shape me,
To the memories that remind me,
To the memories that haunt me
To the scars that remain

I’m done.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Obsession

Using words for expression,
A curing pain session,
My inner mind’s compression,
With anxiety, rumination and depression,
It’s an obsession,
A self-destructive messin’
Around, with pills or a knife,
Ideation of death is rife,
Friends and family feeling my strife,
I got them worried ‘bout my life,
But I am fine,
Words help me shine,
No longer stuck in a confine,
Like a farmer’s favourite bovine,
That’s escaped the plot,
Mental clarity I’ve now got,
Pen in hand, my afflictions are shot,
Now I’m free to write my own plot,
Dream following,
Ego swallowing,
Heart opening,
Pain forgoing,
With a pen in hand,
And paper I brand,
Myself anew in this land,
Here I stand.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Don't Worry About Me

What's wrong, are you ok?
Why don't you come out and play?
Laugh, smile and have some fun.
It is just wonderful here in the sun!

Take a chance, live a little and smile.
You know we're only here for a little while.
You’re missing out on love, adventure and life.
We never see you, are you in strife?

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Come, let's dance! Be moved and swirled!
Take a chance and step out into the world.
Run and fly until your heart’s content,
Make sure that your life is well spent.

Come and see a movie;
Or watch the waves hit the shore.
You will have a good time,
Just step out the door.

The day is almost over,
The sun is now setting.
Leave no stone unturned,
Don't leave this world regretting.

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Please, I want to see you,
I miss what we once had.
Have I done something to offend you?
Did I make you mad?

I don’t know how to help you,
I am at my wits end.
Please don’t forget that
I have always been your friend.

How about we stay in tonight,
Why don’t I come to you?
There will be nothing for you to prepare,
Nothing you have to do.

We can simply order takeaway,
Watch the same old show,
And when you tell me to leave,
I promise to go.

Don't worry about me, I'm just tired.
I will be ok, just wait another day.
It is nothing I assure you.
Would you believe it’s a cold or flu?

Don't worry about me, really, I’m fine.
I stayed up too late, there’s a lot on my plate.
I don’t know what else I can say,
Just believe me; and please go away.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Choose Wisely

Why do you think
It will be ok?
Because thinking so
Takes your anxiety away.

How do you know
It won’t happen to you?
Because knowing so
Is all you can do.

What makes you certain
It won’t be a bad day?
Because you get down
On your knees and pray.

You don’t even believe
In the power of positive thought,
If it were someone else,
You’d say their methods wrought.

That they are just
As likely as another,
To undergo pain, loss,
And oh yes, to suffer.

Yet for you, you permit yourself
This one kind of fiction,
Because it allows you to function
With renewed conviction.

But what happens when
The charms and mind games fail?
What will happen when
Life causes you to wail?

Don’t you go thinking
That these words are lies,
That the message here
Is something to despise.

It is merely a warning
To get your house in order,
Because eventually life
Will throw it into disorder.

Look up the numbers
Apply them to your life,
Statically speaking,
You will go through similar strife.

But it doesn’t feel this way,
You are somehow special,
That’s just your ego talking,
With the words of the devil.

You will reap what you sow,
Getting what you deserve,
The actions you take now,
Dictate what life will serve.

Look at your past and trace life back,
What you did then put you on this track.

So choose wisely.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Flashback

There’s nowhere you can run to,
Nowhere you can hide,
Not when your problems
Are coming from inside.

You cannot escape them,
You cannot leave,
Now that blood is
Running down your sleeve.

Don’t try to face me,
Don’t try to hide,
Mummy, Daddy,
Why weren’t you by my side?

Do I want to sober up,
Or do I want to die?
Blank memories. Pain.
Watching his hand touch up my thigh.

I couldn’t say no,
I couldn’t flee,
Nothing I tried
Broke his hold of me.

Years have passed,
But his grip remains,
He took my body,
My soul, my brains.

So now I’m sitting here,
Stoned and alone,
Trying to remember
If I have ever felt at home.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Rejection

You are not what I am wanting.

Don’t offer to change.
The desire to change yourself
Is itself off-putting.

I know myself well enough
To know what I want;
And what I want is not to be found in you.

This isn’t to be lamented,
Mourned or concerned.
But to be celebrated.

Because if I had you as you are,
I wouldn’t be happy.
If you were to change, you wouldn’t be happy.

By taking you,
It would be as to someone else
Not having you.

This someone would find affection,
Where I see only flaws.
Would find joy, where I see annoyance.

A union should be frictionless.
Two pieces of a puzzle coming together,
Not a round peg, conforming to a square hole.

Don’t get me wrong,
This is not a criticism of you in any way.
You are perfect, but simply not perfect for me.

You are what someone is wanting;
And in turn you are wanting that someone.
But that someone is not me,

And you can never be my someone.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.

Dissociation

I see myself, and I see myself seeing myself;
Trapped in an infinite regress.
Triggered.
I don’t know what I am,
Other than, that I am the ‘other’.
Separated.
I sit in the eye of the storm,
Enjoying the false calm.
Rumination.
Picking the poison to escape my mind;
My father’s curse, passed down to me.
Stoned.
I should lean towards hope,
Look to the light.
Futility.
These words have no meaning,
I am incapable of giving them any.
Numb.
No happy ending, no fresh beginning;
Just nothingness.
Life.

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This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’

Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.