Ruminating On Fate Versus Free Will

I can’t help but notice that what I believe is predicated on nothing more than my experience: the summation of the books I’ve read, my teachers words, the time and place of my birth, religion, culture, parenthood, genetics…

change one thing and what I believe would be different - my world view would be fundamentally altered.

Yet despite knowing this, a part of me doggedly holds to the truths imparted by my experience.

I still believe that I ‘know’ things, when really, all I know is the world as seen through my own limited perception.

Even this contemplation, is itself a function of this process. I am trapped in an infinite regress of existential self-doubt, but unable to escape its trap.

All available avenues are a function this process. All choices feel predetermined. All life feels dictated.

Given this, do I have a choice over how I feel? How I respond? Or even who or what I am?

These are the ramblings that sit in the pit of my stomach - a black hole of pain and trauma, a black hole that I am working on healing and investigating, a black hole that holds existential dread, and other demons that I’m only now discovering how to face and process.

Does writing and sharing all this help? Perhaps.

The ‘logic’ of the existential fatalistic issues above remains, but the emotional pull has reduced - thus I will continue to write and share.

Is this yet another fated response, dictated by the intersection between my genetics and upbringing?

Probably, but at least now that process doesn’t feel so overwhelming crushing to my soul.

I’ve learnt that sometimes our minds trap us with toxic thoughts. Lines of reasoning that can derail all positive progress if left unchecked.

Dispelling Negative Thoughts

1: identify when such thoughts are present - practice developing the subtle awareness of changes in mood & function.

2: observe them with increasing detachment - you are not your thought, but the thing observing them.

3: explore and express them - create art that encapsulates the thought in its purest form.

Optional - 4: share - discovering that others have the same thoughts is therapeutic. You are no longer alone with your pain.

If you’ve gotten this far, perhaps you’d want to work with me. I offer coaching and mentoring around shining a light in your soul, poetry writing and other forms of healing.

I only work with a couple of clients at a time, so spots are extremely limited.

If you are curious to find out more and book a chat, you can do so here.