“There is suffering in this world. To live is to suffer.” – Buddha

There is no avoiding the fact that this chapter may come across as harsh to some readers. It will contain some suggestions that if taken on face value may seem offensive, insulting or uninformed. If you feel this way, please do continue reading to the end as I will hopefully clarify my position adequately, as well as potentially give you another tool to combat depression.

Despite everything that happened, I loved my father and still do. To this day my biggest regret is not connecting with him more. I do not forgive him for what he put my brother and me through, but I regret not trying to get to know him on a deeper level, particularly as an adult. When I talk about my childhood, people always say something along the lines of:

“But you were just a child and he was the adult. He should have done more; it was his fault that your relationship fell apart.”

Yes, he was the adult and I was the child. But that truth does not change my role and my actions towards him. I still made the choice to limit contact. I still made the choice to become emotionally distant. I still made the choice to stop seeing him altogether for years. Despite all that he was and all that he did, I still played a role in our relationship, or lack thereof.