Yes, Even You Are Allowed To Relax

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Give Yourself A Break
- Ch: 2.7 of How To Get Your Sh!t Together -

“Almost anything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes … Including you.” – Anne Lamott

You are allowed to relax.

It is okay to look after yourself, and you should be occasionally spoiling yourself. Rest, recover and heal. Self-care is a vital component to ‘Defeating Depression’ as well as preventing all forms of mental affliction. Yet self-care is often overlooked, discounted or put so low on the priority list that it never gets done.

I know I am guilty of this.

When I consider all of my work, house and family commitments and other responsibilities it is easy to become overwhelmed with just how much needs to get done. This isn’t even accounting for all of the dieting, exercise, writing, learning and practicing that I know I will need to complete if I want to ‘Follow My Dreams’. It is too easy for self-care to take a back seat for another time.

But that time will never happen, unless I make it.

Experience has shown me that failure to give myself a break can lead to a breakdown. I run the risk of overworking, overtraining, overthinking and not getting the rest time that my mind and body really do need.

Regular rest periods are vital for optimal mental health and performance.

If you have a breakdown or become sick or injured you will not be able to produce anything of value. You will be forced to take a break anyway, only this time it will be because you have pushed too far and are now suffering. It is far better to pre-emptively rest, that way you will be back in action far quicker than if you break down completely.

When To Give Yourself A Break

Overtraining is a constant hazard of mine. Typically I exercise at least twice per day. This is great for my mental and physical health, but it does come with some risks. Overtraining is a phenomena that presents with the symptoms of anxiety and depression, but is in fact caused by a wearing down of the body.

The problem with overtraining is that it is caused by and exacerbated from more exercise. So the first time I became over-trained, I thought it was just a bout of depression coming on, so rather than rest I decided to train harder. Unsurprisingly, I quickly came to regret my decision as my mental state significantly plummeted.

I now know what overtraining feels like and I am very quick to take action. I make sure to train less. I up my intake of fats and protein, which are great for recovery. I will have warm baths, get a massage, meditate and stretch. Every time I over-train I learn more about the limits of my body and how far I can push it in the future.

I apply this same approach to all aspects of my mental state, giving myself a break whenever I need it.

Knowing when to give yourself a break is not an exact science, however you can become quite good at knowing when you likely need to do so. If you find yourself suffering from the symptoms of a mental affliction, you probably are in need of a break. While sometimes it is helpful to push through, often it is not. Rest can be the best medicine and should be taken the moment you know you need it.

Ideally, you would give yourself a break before you start suffering from the symptoms of a mental affliction. When you start to ‘Notice Your Warning Signs’, you can take it as a cue to take break.

How To Give Yourself A Break

The first part of ‘Giving Yourself A Break’ is to accept that you are deserving of one. I have covered how to handle negative self-talk here, so please refer there if you are struggling with the little voice inside your head that’s telling you that you are ‘not worthy’ of a break.

If you believe you don’t yet deserve a break because you ‘haven’t earnt a break yet,’ please consider that regardless of what you have or have not done, or if that was objectively ‘enough’, you still need the break.

You may never feel like you have earnt the break, yet your body and mind will need it regardless. If you wait until you have done enough, you may fall into a deep depression and never finish what you set out to accomplish anyway.

Like all people, you need to rest. This is unavoidable and should be embraced, because with proper rest you will perform at your best!

Different Ways To Give Yourself A Break

- Go to sleep
- Stretch
- Watch a movie
- Eat
- Socialise with friends or family
- Play a video game
- Have a bath
- Hug a dog
- Get a massage
- Change activities to something different
- ‘Meditate’
- Take ‘Ten Relaxation Breaths’
- Read a book
- Drink some tea

I cannot stress the importance of taking a break when needed, for both mental health and also for effective performance. Humans did not evolve to do the same function repeatedly for hours (or days) on end.

It is completely unnatural to study the one subject, perform the same tasks, be in the same place or be around the same people for extended periods of time. You will eventually need a break.

Taking a break will help you come back refreshed and ready to perform. Here I highlight the scientific findings that show that students learn best when they study in blocks of around 45 minutes. After 45 minutes pass a student should ideally take a small break and then return to studying, this time choosing to revise a different subject.

While it may be tempting to push through and ‘get it all done’ your performance will continue to diminish to such a level that you will likely have to repeat it anyway.

Instead, you should take a break before you break!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: How do I know when to push through and when to rest?

A: This will come from experience. I know that answer is unsatisfactory, but you need to develop the skill of introspection. Carefully monitor how you are feeling and performing. Do you notice a change towards the negative? If so, you may need to rest.

I tend to err on the side of caution and prioritise my mental health. This involves ‘Giving Myself A Break’ sooner rather than later. However if I get it wrong, I don’t end up wasting much time because continued introspection will reveal that I am in fact okay and ready to get back into action.

This process has taken a long time to refine and is a continual process. Have patience, it will come!

Q: How can I justify ‘Giving Myself A Break’ when so many people are relying on me to perform. It seems too selfish to relax!

A: What will happen if you don’t take a break and you end up suffering from a mental affliction, illness or injury?

While it may seem selfish to do it pre-emptively, you will save far more time and get a lot more done if you rest a little bit now, rather than being forced to slowly recover. I cover the concept of selfishness versus self-care in chapter 6.10 ‘Are You Doing Enough?’

Resources
Running On Empty, Jonice Webb & Christine Musello
The Spoon Theory, Christine Miserandino

Summary
Taking a break is one of the best pre-emptive measures you can use to avoid the onset of a mental affliction. If you push through and break down, you will be out of action for far longer than you would have rested for.