Don’t Stop Supporting Pride Month - My Story
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The story of ‘that’ tattoo, supporting pride month, and the nature of online discourse…
I am feeling torn between the corporatisation of everything leading to most all good causes becoming yet another excuse to sell, with the legitimate need for advocating and expressing the true lives experience of minorities that are in need of support, recognition and compassion.
This extends to the ‘us v them’ debate around all things that happens online.
Hint, if your feed shows you something that enrages you (on either side of the debate) you are trapped and are being sold advertisements and are simply an engagement monkey.
I say all that to say these three things,
1: I don’t have the answers to the nuanced debates around LGBTQ+ issues and inclusion in society, sport, and other aspects of the world.
I don’t think there is ‘an answer’ that will work for all. Every option has detractors and none of us are smart enough to know all the downstream impacts of law/regulation changes that all sides are screaming for.
2: Given the online vitriol and echo chamber nature of the ‘discussion’ it seems pointless to share or engage in that space. You get yelled at by half the readers, loved by a quarter, and critiqued by the last quarter for not being extreme enough. Supporting pride month is inherently political.
3: My personal experience in this space is one of confusion, trauma and a lack of understanding of who and what I am.
This tattoo was my attempt to acknowledge and integrate a part of me that was (and does) always feel there. The feminine aspect of my nature, that, at times of deep trauma, has helped save me. At times I still feel that way, and often dream it. Most of the time I feel at home in my body, but not always.
What does that make me? Where on the LGBTQ+ do I sit?
Feel free to answer, but it is a rhetorical question. I am me: regardless of how I feel about my body/gender. Years of therapy and contemplation and communication has enabled me to accept myself and I (for one) don’t need to identify with a label.
But a younger me? That person struggled. That person felt shame and confusion at yet another thing that was different.
I couldn’t share or ask or talk about it, not until another person shared their story. This opened the door to expression and understanding. But also to ignorance and flippant interactions that could have been quite distressing.
Therapists offering terrible advice and social interactions that offer worse.
Long story short, there is an absolute benefit for people sharing their stories, and it is for this reason that I am all for companies supporting pride month - even if it is just for profit as it will help real people share their lived experience of their unique life.
This is an aspect of my truth, one that still causes me to have interesting conversations, both in my head and in real life.
I share all this because I know some of you feel as I did. Confused. Alone. Unsure. Scared.
I share it to let you know that you are okay, and it is ‘normal’ - as much as that no one is normal, there are just more of people with some traits than others. Chances are that what you are feeling and experiencing has been felt and experienced before.
Have faith that you will find your tribe. And please, whatever you do, do not end your life because of these feelings.
Reach out.
Most of the time, there will be people who, even if they don’t ‘get it’, will still care.
Happy pride month, and fuck the corporations who only want to use it to make another dollar!
