"It was like releasing water through a dam. It felt like if I didn’t cut, that my mind would crack, with devastating results ..."

As part of my first university degree, I was required to write an essay on suicide and analyse why there is a significant difference between the suicide completion rates between males and females. It was a critical analysis essay, so the writing style somewhat different to my usual. I share it here now in the thoughts that someone may gain something from reading my essay on suicide:

I don't know where to start other then by saying that writing saved my life, and I wanted to share that with you. Writing has been a lifeline for me throughout my journey with mental health challenges. In moments of deep despair and confusion, putting pen to paper has provided a powerful outlet for my thoughts and emotions, helping me to process my experiences and find clarity.

In a world that often glorifies selflessness and sacrifice, the idea of putting yourself first can feel uncomfortable, maybe even selfish. But the truth is, prioritizing your own wellbeing isn’t just essential for your personal growth and happiness; it’s also crucial for the health of your relationships and the impact you have on others. Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s a non negotiable.

Each time that I was close to following through, one thought kept coming to mind. It was so poignant that I couldn’t shake it: before making a permanent decision, give yourself the chance to try before you die - try everything you’ve ever dreamed of - you might just find a reason to stay.

Despite being great at keeping me alive antidepressants are certainly not ideal. Antidepressants are one of the most commonly prescribed treatments for depression, but how effective are they, and what should you consider before taking them? Do antidepressants make you emotionless too?