My Annual F*ck Christmas Podcast Episode | Ep 259

 

It’s time once again for my annual Fuck Christmas podcast.

For some, the festive season is the opposite of fun - full of triggers and trauma and overwhelm and the forced obligation to spend time with the people and in places that caused you the most pain.

It is a time when substance abuse, self harm and suicide significantly rise.

It is a time we’re loneliness amplified and that all two familiar mask must be put back on in order to save face, and ultimately to save yourself.

In this episode, I talk about the importance of saying no when you need to, and yes when you want to.

I share a depth of the impact of my own trauma, and aspects that come with healing - particularly around Christmas. I share a story of attempting to explain my past and my pain - only to have it thrown back at myself as I was victim blamed, and thus no longer feeling safe around that person - which is brought up once again at this time of year.

This is not an easy episode, and I want to give a massive trigger warning.

But if you’ve read this far, and if you follow me, the episode will probably bring some solace or at least will help you to not feel so alone with the darkness this seems to get amplified by Santa’s sleigh.

- Blackness - Chapter from Under The Influence
- Guard Your Mental State At All Costs - Blog
- Poetry From A Dark Night Of The Soul - Book

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Overcoming Poverty Mindset | Ep 258

 
Overcoming Poverty Mindset, Episode 258 of Reality Check Podcast

Tendrils of the past manifest in the present and will continue to impact you into the future unless you take action.

In this episode I discus the process of to identify and overcoming poverty mindset and other limiting beliefs.

Sharing the story of moving out of home at 16, surviving of charity and government handouts, to thriving both personally and financially, whilst being able to ask for and offer products and services at rates that back then I could never have imagined possible.

- Free Shadow Work Journal PDF
- How To Get Your Sh!t Together
- Coaching, Mentoring, & Intuitive Guidance
- Immersion Intensive

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How To Break The Cycle | Ep 256

 

Are we doomed to repeat our past? To inflict upon our children what was inflicted upon us? If we are a product of our genetics intersecting with our environment, how can we break the cycle once and for all?

In this episode I story of my past and why that has led me to give away all 17 of my books for free.

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TMS Saved My Life After Antidepressants Almost Ended It | Ep 254

 

What do you do when you are genetically predisposed to have negative reactions to antidepressants, have lost your job, have had little success with talking therapies, and have not yet processed the trauma of the past?

Answer: Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS)

This episode is a collaboration with Dr Jenelle Tupek, director and founder of Balanced Membranes Heath Education, and the host of the Rewriting The Script podcast.

Jenelle interviews me, discussing my experiences with how TMS saved my life and my mental health journey in general - we talk about the nature of mental health treatments and the different options available.

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Or via: iTunes, Spotify, & Amazon

 

It's Not Okay To Be Okay... | Ep 223

It's Not Okay To Be Okay... | Ep 223

It’s okay to not be okay… but is it okay to be okay? Are we romanticising mental illness? What can we do to best safeguard our ongoing mental health?

In this episode I muse on these questions, as well as break down the come down from Christmas season…

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The Difficulty In Breaking Trauma Cycles & Surviving The Christmas Season | Ep 222

The Difficulty In Breaking Trauma Cycles & Surviving The Christmas Season | Ep 222

It’s that time of year again, when people like me find themselves conflicted by the festive season. On the one hand I want to enjoy myself, but on the other hand I feel overwhelmed by it all.

In this episode I discuss how I am managing to survive (and hopefully thrive) this Christmas.

I also talk about generational trauma - focusing on what it is, and why it is almost impossible to completely break the cycle.

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I Can’t Tell If I Am Hungry | Ep 213

I Can’t Tell If I Am Hungry | Ep 213

Am I starving or full? What am I actually craving to eat? When should I stop? And why does it feel like love and food are intertwined?

Recovering from trauma is a long and complex. My current, and longest, battle is around re-establishing the mind-body connection. I want to be know what I am feeling and what those feelings actually mean.

To do this I will be counting-calories. Not to lose weight, but to teach myself what the feelings that arise actually mean - without the added fear, anxiety and ignorance. Please help me to stay on track with this!

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Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me? | Ep #209

Do You Love Me, Or Just The Idea Of Me? | Ep #209

In this episode I discuss the impact of over-analysing emotions of others and how excessively reading into tone/facial expressions/word choice can lead to the exact opposite outcomes from what was intended.

I also discuss my positive experiences with the initial stages of EMDR…

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#181 Making Better Choices In Response To Triggers & Trauma - Not Getting Drunk/High This Time

#181 Making Better Choices In Response To Triggers & Trauma - Not Getting Drunk/High This Time

I am not in the best way ATM, but unlike previous times I have felt this way I have made a different choice.

Rather than choosing to inebriate myself, I chose not to. I recognised how I would feel during and after the inebriation, and how I have previously felt and made a different choice.

So now I have been left to sit with the pain, but also to recognise that my pain won’t last (because it never lasts).

I can take good actions:
- I followed my crisis plan
- Undertook self-care
- I prioritised my mental health
- I focused on the good

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168: Social Obligations, Mental Health & Triggering Family Members AKA Merry Christmas!

 
bad-santa-wallpaper-preview.jpg

Christmas can force us to spend time with people we otherwise wouldn’t. This can produce a level of anguish, triggers, and awkwardness; all resulting in a diminished mental state.

Fortunately there are ways that you can guard your mental state in order to survive the coming week.

I’m Coming For You - Poem
Reflections of the Self: The Poetry, Insights and Wisdom of Silence - Out now

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146: I Over Thought It & Hurt My Own Feelings

146: I Over Thought It & Hurt My Own Feelings

Navigating trauma isn’t easy. Not for the person suffering, nor for the people around them.

When triggered, I am faced with an overwhelming gush of emotionality. I feel afraid. I feel like I am reliving the past trauma. This can cause me to act in a way that seems selfish - I will lash out, require comfort or alone time. I can seem angry and ungrateful - Despite this, I need the support of those close to me.

Open and honest communication is key.

In this episode, I read and dissect my poem 'I Over Thought It & Hurt My Own Feelings,’ and discuss how you can help someone who has been triggered.

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145: How Do I Explain This Feeling?

145: How Do I Explain This Feeling?

As a response to trauma, we may dissociate.

This is a defence mechanism, one that keeps us safe from the terrors of the moment. It blocks us off from reality and keeps us safe.

Unfortunately, this process can run rampant, triggering itself in times of safety and peace, leaving us confused and unable to understand what is happening or explain it to ourselves or others.

In this episode I read and dissect my poem ‘How Do I Explain This Feeling’.

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132: Reframing The Coronavirus As Collective Trauma

132: Reframing The Coronavirus As Collective Trauma

Looking at Coronavirus through the lens of collective trauma will help us to manage the crisis - both internally and communally.

We are all going through something new, unique and scary. We don’t have complete information, and we are seeing people lose their freedoms, livelihoods and lives.

This is traumatic, and is causing us to act and respond in a compromised way.

In this episode I discuss the importance of mentally re-framing as a way to maintain our mental states and relationships.

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131: Dealing With Triggers & Trauma

131: Dealing With Triggers & Trauma

When you are triggered, you feel like the trauma is happening again.

This is never an easy situation to manage. Whilst triggered, you will experience intense emotions combined with a diminished ability to cope.

This can lead to catastrophe.

In this episode I discuss how I manage my triggers, both internally, as well as how I explain it to those close to me.

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123: What Is & Isn't Self Care - Why You Need To Do More Then Simple 'Feel Good' Activities

123: What Is & Isn't Self Care - Why You Need To Do More Then Simple 'Feel Good' Activities

Self care is not simply ‘feeling good in the moment’ - It is about real and long term growth. It is about establishing discipline, getting therapy, reaching out for help, diet, exercise and meditation.

Ask yourself ‘will this action help me in both the short and long term?’

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122: Fitting In Following Trauma & Neglect

122: Fitting In Following Trauma & Neglect

I always felt out of place growing up, both socially as well as internally - I would feel the need to ‘act to fit in’. The problem was that this act wasn’t me, and it wasn’t sustainable.

Clearly I did not have a secure attachment. The fear and neglect I faced growing up has ramifications to this day.

In this episode I explore these impacts - both on myself as well as on how I parent.

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103: How Neglect Stunts Your Growth

103: How Neglect Stunts Your Growth

Topic: Neglect is the absence of something. When it comes in terms of physical needs (food, water, shelter etc) the consequences are immediately obvious. However, when it is emotional neglect, and attention neglect, the ramifications are often hidden. In this episode I discuss these ramifications as well as what I am doing to overcome them.

Book Chapter: ‘Learn How To Learn’ (00:12:50) ch:4.2 of How To Get Your Sh!t Together

“Learning how to learn is life’s most important skill.” – Tony Buzan

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