if all I want
is for each day
to end
quickly
why
do I bother
waking?
to do
just enough
to afford a bed
and the drugs
to keep me
there
This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I sit
Stupefied
Seeking solace
From shame
The silence
Is no longer safe
Secrets seep
From the shadow
Slowly I find myself
Surrounded
My sanity siphoned
Into stillness
This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I rush off
Like I’ve got somewhere to be
Something to do
Or someone to see
But that’s a lie
Cause the reality is it’s just gonna be me
Scared and alone and devoid of esprit
Asking the same questions repeatedly
‘Why do I end conversations so quickly?
And why do I flee
When all that I crave is company?’
Daily
I attempt to reconcile this hypocrisy
But the internal enquiry
Just yields me a dark prophecy
It states with nihilistic glee that
‘Happiness is impossible to guarantee’
Oh well
At least my family
Can use this poetry on my obituary
So if you’re reading this
Please ignore the depravity
The dead should be looked upon positively
Their transgressions forgotten to the pasts obscurity
I’m left wondering if this pain a function of my pedigree
If it was meant to be
Or if I brought it upon me
Cursed by fate and my family tree
Or by god and a world that rewards functionality
And profit derived from cruelty
Take what you can and fuck all that disagree
Prosperity if your right as long as you are free
As long as you agree
I’m so angry
And tired
And disproportionately craving insobriety
The only thing keeping me here is my children’s plea
Daddy won’t you come play with me?
This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Sitting
In the sun
In an empty field
My head
Too heavy to hold
I numbly
Weep
For the life
I was too afraid
To live
This poem is from the book, ‘Poetry from a Dark Night of the Soul’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
The toxic nightmare
The dream that traps you
Into believing you’re awake
That lets you live your fantasy
For just long enough
To taste heaven
But not long enough
To be satiated
Before you are wretched
Back into reality
By a chiding laugh
Laced with criticism
For being so gullible
As to believe
You deserve
Happiness
Let alone a beautiful dream
This poem is from the book, ‘A Requiem For What Could Have Been: Poetry For The Broken’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
***Trigger Warning***
Sure we seem normal from the outside,
But look closer and you will see,
The crevasses and cracks appearing,
In this happy family.
Daddy’s upright and professional,
Leaving for work early each day,
Except he’s banging his manager,
Yep, he is a closeted gay.
It started out as an extortion attempt,
The boss abusing his position,
Until Dad realised he enjoyed it,
Now he’s happy to be in submission.
It’s led to promotions,
And a new corner workspace,
Now he’s grooming his secretary,
Putting him in the same place.
Then there’s my little sister,
As cute as a button,
But on her first day of school,
She was taken as mutton.
Her teacher said she was naughty,
She was to stay back after class,
Told her to write lines,
But it was all just a farce.
My sister God bless her,
Hasn’t told a soul,
She just cut up her arms,
And eats to fill the hole.
My brother is nice and polite,
He always smiles appropriately.
But when left alone,
He acts demonstrably.
He is the reason why
Our cat passed away,
And why we no longer have
Our two dogs to play.
He wets the bed,
And lights garden fires
He once lost his mask,
And slashed some car tyres.
My big sister is devout,
Good grades, charity and service.
Because whether it’s in church or the floor,
On her knees she certainly isn’t nervous.
She almost got caught once,
In a locker room stall.
But her reputation as a saint,
Provided a deceptive shawl.
No she won’t go all the way,
She’s waiting for that special someone,
But that doesn’t stop her,
Giving all the boys some fun.
Now Mother’s a special case,
She keeps herself done up all nice,
Maintaining a pretty house,
And playing the good wife.
But when Dad’s at work,
And the kids are all out,
She downs some special pills,
And just lazes about.
She’s not happy with her life,
But isn’t sure why,
All she knows,
Is that she’s planning to die.
What about me you ask,
Have I faired any better?
Well I’ve learnt to keep myself hidden,
With silence as my fetter.
It’s better when I’m ignored,
And left to my own devices,
Because if I need them for anything,
I have to make some sacrifices.
Giving up my dinner,
Is much more preferred.
Than to be locked in my room,
With my screams overheard.
This is my happy family,
We keep to our own,
Never letting people in,
Learning to act the drone.
We don’t speak up,
No one could understand,
Nor could they do anything,
Cause they won’t see it first hand.
Dad’s never home,
And mum could be sober for a day,
My brother’s playing in backyard,
My big sister will just pray.
Nor will you see the cuts,
On my little sister’s arms,
Like me she covers her wounds
And other signs of self harm.
Besides, we would all defend each other
When push comes to shove,
Because know that the real danger,
Comes from outside of family love.
Despite all their problems,
They are all that I’ve got.
So what else can I do,
But accept them as my lot?
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
brain oscillation
no concentration
thought invasion
constant rumination
memory violation
past commiseration
unwanted stimulation
apologetic compensation
fleeting determination
hypocritical deliberation
personality creation
false presentation
total ostentation
needing defibrillation
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I need you to help me,
But you overwhelm me.
I need support,
But I cannot bring myself to ask.
I need an intervention,
But I will fight against change.
I need answers,
But I don’t know what to ask.
I need a miracle,
But I don’t believe they exist.
I need something,
But I don’t know what it is.
I need this to stop,
But I’m too afraid to act.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I’m sorry to confirm,
You have a case of thought worm.
Soon they will infect your brain,
With reverberated pain.
They will burrow and squirm
And spread their sperm.
Then their spawn will begin to drain
And eventually you’ll be driven insane
You gotta hold firm,
Cause you’re in it for the long term.
I say it again,
In vigilance you must remain.
Still, you’re gonna end up infirm,
Cause you’re infected by a thought worm.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
your tears came
a moment too late
their worth voided
upon creation
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
i don’t want
to do
anything
yet
even doing nothing
is still
something
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
The inner storm meets outer calm.
A silent fury.
Impotent rage not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
The inner fog meets outer clarity.
A quiet constriction.
Clear thought not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
The inner grime meets outer cleanliness.
A mute warning.
Functionality not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
watching him play
i disappeared
and in that space
the world opened up
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I wanna quit
I’m just not with it
Feeling like shit
Feeling like a misfit
An unfit and unlit hypocrite
In need of a refit
No longer with the energy to commit
Unable to continue sharing my wit
Unable to continue to submit
Unable to fulfil his holy writ
A social counterfeit
A fool with his brain split
Someone who’s no longer legit
Some kinda halfwit
Rolling without a permit
In need of a babysit
I’m unfit
An empty tool kit
A horse without its bit
A victim that’s gaslit
A plane without a cockpit
A radio with nothing to transmit
Guilt that’s impossible to acquit
Pain that I can no longer omit
Not without a wrist slit
Not without a friend to get close-knit
Someone that allows me to admit
All of my turmoil and bullshit
Someone with the necessary grit
To make the darkness sunlit
Someone that won’t just split
The moment I fall into a pit
If that’s you, please send help, lickety-split
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Take the damn pill,
You’re on it for a reason.
It’s to stop you feeling ill,
To keep you from self-treason.
Sure, you’re feeling fine,
But how long will it last?
You know you’re not divine,
Just look back at your past.
There was that time you went cold turkey,
When you knew it would be fine.
Instead, your mind went murky,
And you turned to a life of crime.
Or when you got the jitters,
So bad you couldn’t sleep.
Feeling your skin crawling with critters,
Causing you to weep.
Or that time you almost died,
When depression came back strong.
Or the time that you lied,
To yourself that something wasn’t wrong.
Take the damn pill,
You’re on it for a reason.
I don’t want to be reading your will,
As the last act of the season.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I look different from the inside.
I know what you see,
But you don’t know what I hide,
You think it’s just smiles and glee.
Really I don’t feel safe to confide,
Cause’ I’ve got demons you see.
They cajole, sow doubts, and chide
Making me question what it is to be me.
Showing my faults, destroying my pride
Highlighting how I act differently.
They remind me of when I cried,
And make me think all fuzzy.
They suggest I shouldn’t have tried,
Confusion they guarantee.
I just want to be free, to be, and to be me.
To not worry about what you see, or wanting to flee, or to fit some unspoken decree.
What’s the key? Can thee enlighten me?
Or should I hide inside, bide my time, and chide?
Swallow my pride and wish I’d simply died?
Please confide, be my guide, and give me what I’ve been denied.
Ah, I see, you lied.
You see me as debris.
You barely even tried,
Before making me feel crappy.
‘Cause you were the one who cried
And spoke with such irony.
Like it was me who beat your backside,
And me who raised you absently,
And me who caused your family to divide,
And me who acted grotesquely,
And me who failed to provide,
And me who never gave an apology.
No, I’ve said sorry.
My actions weren’t justified.
But I am not them and I will never be.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I don’t want
to be
where
I am
I could move but
there is
nowhere
I can go
I am trapped
inside
my cursed
mind
It follows
me
everywhere
laughing
at my
pain
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
is this a cry
for attention
or
a cry
for help?
is there really a difference?
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
bong hit
smoke eyes
see life
father’s eyes
different pain
new disguise
hot take
fresh lies
core aspects
i despise
diverted focus
stoned highs
scrying thoughts
child cries
look close
perpetual demise
broken dreams
sharp knives
self-worth
clichéd rhymes
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
My days are slippin
I be trippin
Over myself
Over my words
Sentimental thoughts
I’m mental
Mental state
Lost forms abate
Can’t wait
I overcompensate
I’m lost
Searching for you
Looking for new
A preview in lieu of success
I’m a mess
Such stress
Much duress,
Brain’s compressed,
Into something different
I’m indifferent
Maleficent
A power against the world
Against myself
I’m self-destructive
Creative in chaos
Constructive in harm
Persuasive self-pity
I be trippin
This day be slippin
Now I’m lippin
My thoughts
Onto paper
No sense
Just nonsense
A flow
A recompense
From the memories
From the pain
This poem is from the book, ‘Words On A Page’
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, or Audiobook.
