i am but a feather
drifting between worlds
forced to float
on the whims of the wind
perhaps
one day
i’ll be allowed
to rest
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
If I was to die, would you cry?
Would you look up at the sky and scream why?
Would you lament being shy for not asking after I?
Please do not deny.
Just know that I am forgetting my why.
You don’t need to be a spy to see that I don’t have the energy to try.
Truth is, I’ve barely enough to sigh.
No longer spry, no longer able to apply, no longer able to fly.
How can I amplify? How can I stay wry? How can I make that pie?
I’m just a lonely guy, trying to imply the need for you to reply.
Perhaps I need to demystify before I say goodbye.
Perhaps I need to clarify before I horrify.
Perhaps I need to verify before I falsify with this note left to justify the lullaby.
Don’t worry. These words are a lie, just a sly attempt to identify.
Just an attempt to pre-emptively reclassify when you turn a blind eye.
Just an attempt to declassify and diversify the constant misapply.
Just an attempt to edify you on the thoughts that multiply, the need to certify, the ennui.
I see how others get by. They gratify and deify; they codify and fortify. Believing that the Mystify will specify how they should diversify.
But not me.
I can’t believe that rallying cry.
Life has no retry.
Just a constant attempt to scrape by under a dark sky.
Just a vain attempt to signify.
Just cause and effect bound to the wings of a butterfly.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
waking up
to bitter coffee
and a birdsong
breath visible
in the crisp morning air
attention turns inward
finding nothing
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Looks can be deceiving,
Behind a smile lies darkness,
An illness invisible.
Laughing through sorrow,
Acting through pain,
Lying to survive.
Learning to pretend,
Saying the right words,
Diverting attention.
I’m fine.
I’m just tired.
It’s nothing.
Don’t worry.
I’ve got this.
It’ll pass.
Self imposed exile,
Hiding from the world,
Hiding from myself.
Time to think,
Time to regret.
Time to practice my smile.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Memories compress,
In the recess of the mind.
Thoughts confined,
By the passing of time.
A shine dedicated
To a past divine.
The horrors expressed
So totally mine.
Waiting untouched,
A defensive confine.
Dissociated reality,
A false sublime.
Seen from above,
I’m left in a bind.
A fist is raised,
Told to stay in line.
Flashes of vision,
Pain a bright shine.
A hollow city,
Dysfunctional and blind.
Memory as a curse,
A picture of crime.
Cause and effect,
We’re both doing time.
It’s all guess work,
Just a twisted game,
Played against the self,
On the battleground of shame.
I don’t know much,
My brain is maimed.
Functional enough
To get itself tamed.
Forever questioning,
Looking to blame.
No way to win,
Just playing the game.
Victory is simple,
Just stave off dying.
Survive the day,
Then breakdown crying.
Because memories compress,
Forgotten with time.
Until you’re stupid enough,
To open your mind.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Mindless scrolling
Looking for validation online
Filling the time
Filling the void
Someone just liked my post
Fleeting happiness
Back to scrolling
Change apps
Scrolling again
Change apps back
Another like, but not from someone I like
I’m offended
Comment
I’m offended
Share
I wonder what she’s doing?
Damn, she’s still happy with him
Food as art
Bodies as art
Life as art
How unattainable
I’m jealous
You have memories from seven years ago
Cringe
10 things you won’t believe
10 times they got it wrong
10 posts to distract you from your own existence
Screen time report
Usage up from last week
Porn
Porn
Porn
Shame
Close all open tabs
Delete the latest hour
Half formed thought
Tweet
OMG, a retweet!
Just a bot
Bad news
More bad news
Memes about the news
Memes about memes
Sharing memes
I should work
Scroll
I should clean
Scroll
I should exercise
Scroll
I need to sleep
Scroll
Check one app
Check another
Check a third app
Recheck the first
Back to scrolling
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The fear of imperfection.
The fear of not being good enough.
Crippling inaction.
Stuttered words.
No self-worth.
The fear of failure causing failure.
Not inability, talent or a lack of opportunity.
Just fear.
Just anxiety.
Just unattainable standards.
Standards put upon by myself.
Standards forced upon me by the world.
Others can fail.
Others can be imperfect.
Others can have fun.
Just stop.
Please don’t placate me.
I know ‘no one cares about that stuff’.
I know ‘we all make mistakes’.
I know ‘I’m only human’.
Reason doesn’t stop the thoughts.
By definition a phobia is illogical.
My only solace comes from the diagnosis.
Knowing that I am not alone.
Perfectly imperfect, together.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
i’m angry
at you
for not being
more
like me
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Adulting, would not recommend.
There’s just too damn much to comprehend.
Work, work, work, work, no time for my friend.
Now look at that, my life’s about to end.
I do not rate,
My current adult state,
Always running late,
Trying to put food on my plate.
Money, money, money, I never have enough.
Not for the rent, bills or any fun stuff.
There’s no wonder why we are all so gruff,
Yelling on the inter-webs, acting so tuff.
It’s just back pain,
And weight gain.
It’s rushing all day,
With no time to play.
It’s the not knowing,
Yet having to keep going.
It’s our parents’ lack of understanding,
Of what our world is actually demanding,
Of our real struggle to maintain our standing,
No chance to get ahead, no interest compounding.
Boomers think they know the score,
They’re just lucky to be born after the war.
A time of prosperity let their incomes soar,
Making them think there will always be more.
Criticising us with self-righteous impunity,
For squandering a ‘glorious opportunity’.
In a world of growing disunity,
How can they expect such immunity?
Thing is, we can’t fight back,
There is no true enemy to attack.
Just another generation protecting their own,
And yelling from the safety of their home.
Besides when would we have the time to fight?
The third job’s got us up all night.
Adulting, I would not recommend.
But please let’s no longer pretend,
That our problems are gonna magically mend,
By venting with an angry tweet send.
You could protest it on the street,
With the 99% speaking with their feet,
Or perhaps a BLM meet,
Yell, scream and hope to defeat.
But the problem is that they have the power,
They can wait a longer hour.
They can direct the tear gas shower,
With the riot police to make us cower.
Also did I mention, the world is warming?
There’s racist divisions and politicians performing.
Economic collapse from COVID’s storming,
And European war is transforming.
Too many problems to simultaneously comprehend,
Let alone act with any hope to end.
There’s no opportunity to transcend,
Only ways to further offend.
Adulting, would not recommend.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Here I am,
Trying once again.
Trying to create something beautiful,
Trying to glimpse eternity,
Trying to distil a moment.
Here I am,
Trying once again.
Trying to impress,
Trying to state my worth,
Trying to be something more.
Here I am,
Trying once again.
Trying to reconcile talent with torment,
Trying to balance fun with functionality,
Trying to see the ramifications of reality.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
The world is too noisy,
It asks too much,
It never stops moving,
And it’s never got enough.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I’m sorry to confirm,
You have a case of thought worm.
Soon they will infect your brain,
With reverberated pain.
They will burrow and squirm
And spread their sperm.
Then their spawn will begin to drain
And eventually you’ll be driven insane
You gotta hold firm,
Cause you’re in it for the long term.
I say it again,
In vigilance you must remain.
Still, you’re gonna end up infirm,
Cause you’re infected by a thought worm.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I wanna quit
I’m just not with it
Feeling like shit
Feeling like a misfit
An unfit and unlit hypocrite
In need of a refit
No longer with the energy to commit
Unable to continue sharing my wit
Unable to continue to submit
Unable to fulfil his holy writ
A social counterfeit
A fool with his brain split
Someone who’s no longer legit
Some kinda halfwit
Rolling without a permit
In need of a babysit
I’m unfit
An empty tool kit
A horse without its bit
A victim that’s gaslit
A plane without a cockpit
A radio with nothing to transmit
Guilt that’s impossible to acquit
Pain that I can no longer omit
Not without a wrist slit
Not without a friend to get close-knit
Someone that allows me to admit
All of my turmoil and bullshit
Someone with the necessary grit
To make the darkness sunlit
Someone that won’t just split
The moment I fall into a pit
If that’s you, please send help, lickety-split
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Why does it feel like I’m all alone?
Like my house isn’t my home,
Like I’m running from the unknown?
Why does it feel like it shouldn’t be this way?
Like my nerves are on display,
Like I’m living as prey?
Why does it feel like my mind’s full of trash?
Like my intentions are ash,
Like I’m hoarding my father’s stash?
Why does it feel like I’m under attack?
Like my actions lack,
Like I’m waiting for a smack?
Why does it feel like it will never end?
Like my words offend,
Like I’m expected to pretend?
Why does it feel like everyone is lying?
Like my dreams are dying,
Like I’m only supported when crying?
Why does it feel like these words aren’t enough?
Like my life isn’t so rough,
Like I’m creating demons from fluff?
Why does it feel like I’m a total fraud?
Like my soul just wants you to applaud,
Like I’m fundamentally flawed?
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Bong hit
smoke eyes.
See life
fathers’ eyes.
Different pain
new disguise.
Hot take
fresh lies.
Core aspects
I despise.
Diverted focus
Stoned highs.
Scrying thoughts
child cries.
Look close
perpetual demise.
Broken dreams
sharp knives.
Self-worth
clichéd rhymes.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
I look different from the inside.
I know what you see,
But you don’t know what I hide,
You think it’s just smiles and glee.
Really I don’t feel safe to confide,
Cause’ I’ve got demons you see.
They cajole, sow doubts and chide,
Making me question what it is to be me.
Showing my faults, destroying my pride,
Highlighting how I act differently.
They remind me of when I cried,
And make me think all fuzzy.
They suggest I shouldn’t have tried,
Confusion they guarantee.
I just want to be free,
To be and to be me.
To not worry about what you see,
Or wanting to flee,
Or to fit some unspoken decree.
What’s the key?
Can thee enlighten me?
Or should I hide inside,
Bide my time and chide?
Swallow my pride and wish I’d simply died?
Please confide, be my guide,
And give me what I’ve been denied.
Ah, I see, you lied.
You see me as debris.
You barely even tried,
Before making me feel crappy.
‘Cause you were the one who cried
And spoke with such irony.
Like it was me who beat your backside,
And me who raised you absently,
And me who caused your family to divide,
And me who acted grotesquely,
And me who failed to provide,
And me who never gave an apology.
No, I’ve said sorry.
My actions weren’t justified.
But I am not them and I will never be.
Don’t you see?
You need therapy.
I’m not being snide,
Because in this, you are just like me.
Confide in an expert.
Tell them your story.
Share what you were denied,
Open up and actually let someone inside.
Ah, I see you lied.
You don’t want recovery, just an excuse to hide.
I have tried, and it didn’t work,
So please set me free, and
Let me be me.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Watching him play
I disappeared.
And in that space,
The world opened up.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
The battle lines are drawn
I turn inwards
They snarl
Bearing teeth
All too big for their mouths
They curse
They cajole
They threaten
They remind me of their brethren
The victors of the last war
The darkness fuels them
My fear fuels them
They surround me
Attacking from behind
Infiltrating my defences
I fall
My mind closes in
All seems lost
But then I remember
I have been here before
I know their tactics
I know their weaknesses
I know their game
Just deception
Just intimidation
I turn and face them
Staring them down
My gaze is illuminating
Golden rays of light
Shatter their advance
I begin the hunt
Snarls turns into shrieks
Shrieks turns into bargaining
Bargaining turns into pleading
Pleading turns into silence
I seek out their dens
I destroy their spawning grounds
I cleanse myself
Total victory
Unconditional surrender
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
The inner storm meets outer calm.
A silent fury.
Impotent rage not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
The inner fog meets outer clarity.
A quiet constriction.
Clear thought not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
The inner grime meets outer cleanliness.
A mute warning.
Functionality not expressed.
Other than here,
Other than now.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
Brain oscillation,
No concentration,
Thought invasion,
Constant rumination,
Memory violation,
Past commiseration,
Unwanted stimulation,
Apologetic compensation,
Fleeting determination,
Hypocritical deliberation,
Personality creation,
False presentation,
Total ostentation,
Needing defibrillation.
This poem is from the book, ‘Bound To The Wings Of A Butterfly’.
Read more from the colleciton, download a free copy, or purchase as a Paperback, eBook, Hardcover or Audiobook.
