I lose every day. Each time I step onto the mat at the start of a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training session, I know that I will soon be ‘tapping out’. Giving the signal that I have been defeated, and effectively admitting to myself, to my opponent, and to everyone watching, that I was bested. ‘You win or you learn’ is an aphorism that we learn to live by, and in most sessions, I lose more than I win. Yet I return, day after day, and plan to continue to do so for the rest of my life. By the end of this chapter I hope to convince you of the reasons why…

Learning how to adult is a challenging prospect. There is so much to do, and so many different skills needed to successfully maintain a household, pursue a career and have successful relationships, all of which involves learning life skills, that we may not have been taught…

You need to know how to end a fight quickly: you have been pushed, punched, grabbed or charged at. Maybe a weapon is pulled. What do you do?

You will have to act fast, because the chances of an undesirable outcome for you is increasing exponentially every second.

If you want to stay safe it really is simple, do not put yourself in danger in the first place. Obvious I know, but many martial arts instructors fail to emphasize this point. Preventing conflict is the best thing you can do to keep yourself safe.

Adults martial arts classes have been a lifesaver for me in many ways over the years. They have taught me discipline, resilience, and a way to navigate the chaos of conflict, both physical and mental.