Fallacious title, but go with me for a moment. What does it mean to ‘cheat’ on your partner? Can you actually define where that line is, or is there some ambiguous knowing that will occur that will somehow inform you when it happens?

Let me ask you some questions….

There are certain activities that get me going. Certain situations, objects, places, and parts that really take sex to the next level. Don’t get me wrong, vanilla ice-cream is tasty, but sometimes I need to add some sprinkles and hot fudge sauce to enjoy my banana split sundae…

There is a direct connection between my mental state and arousal. When triggered, I go one of two ways; meltdown or hyper sexuality…

To be clear, whatever you are feeling is valid, normal, and likely has been felt by many other people in your situation. Regardless of if you are new to the ethical non monogamous (ENM) space or a veteran, emotions can, and should continue to, arise.

But should you do with those emotions? Particularly the ones that are ‘bad’?

What does friendship as an adult look like, or more specifically, what does friendship as an adult look like when you have a mental illness?

Answer: not like the movies, not like you learnt in high-school, and it isn’t easy for either party.

A study of patience, practice & perseverance.

Borderline Personality Disorder makes maintaining relationships extremely difficult. If you or your partner have BPD you know exactly what I am talking about.

Rage. Blame. Confusion. Jealousy. Emotionality.

By the end of this post you will know what has helped me to navigate these kinds of relationships successfully and continually.

"Typically, we don’t leave a relationship until it becomes so bad that the truth of the situation is truly undeniable.

However, by then, we have been beaten down and are broken by the relationship’s turn for the worse. Our confidence levels are shattered and we may have the symptoms of a plethora of mental afflictions – we are anxious about the future and depressed about ourselves. Our self-worth drops so low that we feel like staying is the right option because ‘they are the best someone like me could get’ or ‘at least I am lucky enough to have someone’..."

"People often excuse a behaviour if there are extenuating circumstances.

We tend to forgive, downplay or simply ignore it, because we realise that the person doing the behaviour is going through something significant and therefore are ‘not themselves’ at the moment..."